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Review:Elphaba and Boyfriends says:
Hi, Elphaba here with your requested review!

First of all, I'm intrigued by the ambiguous relationships between your characters, and I'm interested to see how they develop. I feel like I need to read more and get to know the characters better before I can comment more on how I feel about them. They seem cut adrift, as if they're struggling to figure out who they are.

I assume that Evie's sister Hestia is Hestia Jones? That would seem to fit with the year 1970. I would like it if there were a couple more period details worked in to help establish the setting, maybe songs that they hear at the muggle parties they frequent, or snippets of political discussion they overhear?

I do like your first person stream-of-conscious writing style. I don't always like sentence fragments such as: "To become one of them." But they work well with this style of writing. :)

I don't mind that the story is more character driven than plot driven, but there is one question I have: Is Evie telling/writing this story to anyone in particular, or is this her interior monolog? I ask because of the sentence: "This was a rotten way to begin." It makes me think (I could be wrong) that she is relating this story to someone. I think it's totally fine that the "who" isn't revealed right away, but I hope to find out, eventually. :)

I went ahead and read the second chapter right away after this one, because I was so intrigued by the characters, so I will review it now... :)

Author's Response: Oh this was a lovely surprise to come home to; thanks so much for finding the time!

I'm so glad they've sparked a little something for you-and you've caught it exactly, they are all have their reasons for being what they are, but none of them are in control-even if they fight for it/think they are.

When I began my first sketches of this, Hestia was indeed Hestia Jones, and I hate to admit what a mess I am in general when it comes to such things, but as yet the surname isn't important. She's still Jones in my head, but I worry it'll be a bit out time-wise; the only information on her was that she was young and kind (bad summary). It fits, depending on the definition of 'young'. She'd be edging on 50 (or so), which wizarding wise sort of is youthful I suppose. But yes-she was planned as such =] I hope later chapters will start to better confirm the period they're in; but I will keep this in mind and see if a few more references can't be dropped-but I hope it'll be clearer soon anyway.

As for the last, you actually made me think at that. In a way, I think it's safe to say it's inner monologue; she's reflecting on the truth, it's what she's say if she could speak, it's what she would say, if she could. That isn't to say she isn't eventually able and that it isn't meant for someone.

I'm sorry I'm doing such a bodgy job of this! I adored your review, and am flattered you read on! I'd have come and asked for another anyway, which I will-if you're so willing. Thank you!


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