I have been waiting for an opportunity to present itself where I don’t have work, homework or revising to do just so I would have the time to sit down and read this story and I am happy to say I have found time. It’s actually really exciting because just the other day I was thinking about Growing Up Weasley and I was like, you know what? I know she has this story, Growing Up Magical, and I kinda really wanna see what characters she uses and what sort of amazing plot she’s come up with this time…so here I am.
And this chapter? Exactly what I wanted to hear of Neville’s story before Hogwarts. I always wondered how exactly it work, Neville figuring out about his magic due to his Uncle Algie and I must say, you did so while keeping your story quite close to canon, at least in my head. I could definitely see Neville being one to spend his summer days reading, even more so that he was reading adventure novels. It just seemed so fitting! And his partial dread about his Uncles visit…so realistic. I mean, who could blame him? Neville only almost drowned a year earlier xD
But really, your characterization of all of the characters is so spot on. I also love how, while your writing is really stylized and some of the vocab more advanced, it definitely sounds like Neville is an eight year old boy. I mean, you use some terms that may not fit with a boy that age yet without those words, it wouldn’t seem right. You know what I mean? [I could just be crazy xD]
There was only one spot that caught me for a moment and confused me until I reread it, and that would be here: “He ambled over to the large window across from the one leading back out onto the landing, looking through out at the overcast English sky outside as though it were the most fascinating thing he’d ever seen.” –The use of ‘through out at the overcast…” was sort of confusing wording. You may consider revising that to just using out? I don’t know but it was sort of confusing…
Other than that small thing, this really was a lovely chapter. I quite enjoyed reading Neville’s little story and am looking forward to seeing whose next!
And, before I go, my two favourite lines of the chapter (I couldn’t just pick one!):
“…and the boy immediately began falling in a decidedly downward direction.”
“The first of these was that, if today was the day he was destined to die, falling from a window into the garden below was at least an interesting way to go about it.”
The first one, I just adore the wording. The second one was just fantastic! Great job!
Author's Response: Hey! Wow -- it's great to see you drop by this story! :) I'm very flattered to hear that you've been meaning to set aside time to read this, and, needless to say, I'm very happy you've found it now! You are too sweet. ♥
I wrote this story over nine months ago, and still I think it's one of my favorites in this collection. It all came very easily when I was writing it, and I'm happy you enjoyed it! I think that this version of events was always in my head, and I'd adopted it into my own little headcanon, you know?
I'm honestly so happy you found it realistic, though. Realism is something I'm always, always shooting for, in my writing. There's a certain style to this set of stories, and to GUW -- and it does include a sort of sophistication of language. I'm not sure why that is, but it definitely seemed to fit, when writing them. :)
Thank you for spotting that little error! I'm shaking my head now at all the times I've read this chapter over and STILL miss things like that. I really don't want to know how many other little slips are hiding in my other stories.
Thanks so much for leaving this review for me! ♥ This totally made my day -- I hope to see you back soon for your opinion on further chapters!