Hi! Here with your review darling!
I really want to start out by saying I don't know much about dance. I'm more of a softball kind of girl, but I was intrigued by how you included the dancing and how it is such a large part of her life!
It's killing me not to be rattling on about everything, since you wanted me to focus on the pace, but I will try my best!
I think the first chapter was set in a wonderful pace! I love that you didn't throw us directly in the middle of the action. Your characters are going to feel very real and they will be even further beautifully characterized. I think its perfect, the pace. It seems to me like you're very thoroughly introducing the characters and I adore this. I'm a bit miffed that someone said not much happened in 16 chapters, perhaps they needed to look a little deeper? Of course I haven't quite read all 16 chapters yet, but I think for this chapter the pace was perfect. I love the commentary, by the way! I think your style is beautiful and very unique!
As you said you'd like a second opinion, I would love to continue being that second opinion throughout the rest of the story.
I'm really itching to tell you about the rest of the story, you don't mind do you? But I'll wait until you, hopefully!, rerequest. Please do request again...
Author's Response: Hello there. Thank you so much for taking the time to come around. I am so very very sorry for taking so long in replying. I want you to know, as i told the other reviewer I had left without a reply, that i apriciate every single word you wrote and every moment you spent writing them. I have been absent from the site for a while, probably dreading what i would read here the next time i came on. But Im here now, and happy to be here.
I wanted dance to be a very significant part of her life, but seeing that when i started writingt his story i knew very little about dance myself, I tried to write that part of the story in as much an accessible as as possible, so that even people who didnt know that much about it could understand. I hoped that he occasinal tecnical detail would make it seem more real.
Haha, i know i was so very worried about the pacing, but come on, Im a fanfiction writer, I'm always dying to know about everything else! You really should have let loose and talked about whatever you wanted to, i would have surely loved it :D
I was a bit stunned as well when i read that a reader felt like nothing had happened in 16 chapters, but it opened my eyes, so to speak. I really an happy - and immensly relieved - that in the first chapters Anya's character comes through strong and defined. I wanted that, it was my ultimate goal .I feel that the only way to make a story sound real is if the characters are real. But I had been so concentrated on the realness of me characters that i had forgotten to move on and make them do something, put them in situations that woudl move the story along. I love character development, but everything must have its measure.
I am now editing the story and cutting back on pieces that are not needed, to make it flow a little faster. I would loverequest again, truly, because i still am dying for a second opinion, but i want you to read the updated version of this story, the better one so to speak, becuase i really really dont want to let you down, since you sounded so enthusiastic about this story. I would hate to dissapoint yet another reader.
- Oh, by the way, i loved writing those little comments in Anya's head, they were such fun. i did it to show tha thse is a very passive agressive nature, which will change as the stiry goes on, as another trade of ehr that will evolve as the story progresses.
Again, sorry for the delay in replying, and thank you so much for your insight. I hoe you dont forghet the storyline until when i request again. :D