Report a Review

This service is designed to allow HPFF users to alert the staff about inappropriate reviews.

Review:MargaretLane says:
Really intriguing beginning for a story. I'm intrigued as to who the Dark Wizards are.

It's better to write "two men" than "2 men". I've done the latter myself and I'm being extremely nitpicky here anyway, as the meaning is the same, but generally writing the word is considered more professional.

Hmm, this is interesting. I'm wondering if "Tom" is Voldemort. It sounds like it, but if so, these men must be extremely old. And one of them said he knew Tom would become something. I presume he is talking about knowing that around 1970, so nearly 50 years ago. Of course, wizards can live to over a hundred, so maybe not that unusual.

You've written "they past shops", when it should be "they passed shops".

This is a really unusual way to start a next generation fanfic. Unusual in a good way. I don't think I've seen it done like this before. Most people start with Harry and his children; I have myself. So I really like the way you jump right into the story.

I find myself particularly interested in the older man. It sounds as if he was a power behind Voldemort and nobody, not even Dumbledore realised it.

I'm wondering if it could be Slughorn. Because of the mention of him being supposed to be a teacher and of course, it is possible that Slughorn could have given Voldemort the information he did in canon deliberately. Plus, being the power behind the throne just sounds like him.

I find it kind of amusing the way the younger man seems to be trying so hard to copy Voldemort.

Adding this to my favourites.

Author's Response: Wow, thank you for my very first review! This is the first story I've ever written, and you sound like an expert! I plan on reading your stories soon. My first chapter isn't even a full day old on here, and already I have a review! Wow!

Thanks for pointing out the mistakes, I will correct them later when I correct another mistake I noticed. I'm actually glad you pointed those things out so I can fix them!

Just so you know, I plan on updating this every 2 weeks, even though I'm already up to Chapter 8. Thanks Again for being my very first review!

Your Name:
Reason for this Report:

  • The review is offensive.
  • The review is spam or chit-chat (not actually a review).
  • The review was double posted.
  • The review has formatting problems.
Repeat the number: 417
Submit Report: