Report a Review

This service is designed to allow HPFF users to alert the staff about inappropriate reviews.

Review:Calypso says:
Hello, this is CalysoJenna from the forums here with your requested review! I'm sorry it's taken me so long to get round to it!

"The Firewhiskey goes down like gasoline." What an amazing first sentence! It was really hooked me, and drew the reader into the story.

I thought this was a great first chapter- you manage to set up your main character, introduce her friends/situation and tell us a lot about her personality, which is pretty much exactly what I think a first chapter needs to do.

I'm loving Edie! She already has a really strong voice and personality and is very easy to read! You seem to have really sorted her back story and everything too which is good- it helps her seem more three dimensional. I also love her name!

I don't think that it's too cliche to have her best friends with Dean and Seamus. They seem very close throughout the books so there's no reason to suppose they wouldn't have remained so afterwards, and having her also friends with a very minor canon character helps to balance this out.
If you're worried about having too many Gryffindor canon characters as her friends, maybe play down her friendship with George and Lee Jordan who I noticed you mentioned? Just an idea- I don't know if they're going to be important to the plot!

I wouldn't worry about holding people's interest until Oliver shows up- this first chapter really draws the reader in. You've set up a very strong protagonist and enough possibilities for future developments to keep me more than interested!

-Bethany

Author's Response: Thank you! And it's no problem at all; we've all got real lives, right?

It took me forever to think of how to begin this story, so I'm glad the first line was at least interesting. ;)

Also I thought Dean and Seamus's friendship was not mentioned enough in the story. I've RPed as Seamus before and had a really great time staging interactions between the two of them, so I thought their bromance needed some love in the fanfiction realm :)

Thank you so much for taking the time to look at my story. It is greatly appreciated!

Your Name:
Reason for this Report:

Examples:
  • The review is offensive.
  • The review is spam or chit-chat (not actually a review).
  • The review was double posted.
  • The review has formatting problems.
Submit Report:  





All stories remain the property of their authors and must not be copied in any form without their consent. This is an unofficial, not for profit site, and is in no way connected with J.K. Rowling, Scholastic Books or Bloomsbury Publishing or Warner Bros. It is not endorsed by any of the aforementioned parties. Rights to characters and their images is neither claimed nor implied. The use of photographs and/or the likeness of any person contained herein does not imply endorsement of any kind. Any depictions were obtained through publically available sources and therefore fall under fair use. Although we may provide links to other websites, we are not responsible for any material at these sites. You acknowledge that you link to these other websites at your own risk. All original administrative content is copyright of the site owner and must not be copied in any form (electronic or otherwise) without the prior consent of the siteowner. ©2000-2012 Fanfictionworld.net

[terms of service] [report abuse] [privacy policy] [site credits]
 
 

navigation

home

search HPFF
read stories
write stories
login/register
get help
site links
forums
podcasts
Terms of Service
Site Rules
contact us

  
 
 

categories & genres

Genre:
- crossover
- drama
- fluff
- general
- horror/dark
- humor
- mystery
- romance
- action/adventure
- angst
- au
- young adult

Popular Pairings:
- harry/ginny
- ron/hermione
- james/lily
- draco/hermione
- more...

Format:
- one-shot
- short story
- novella
- novel
- short story collection
- songfic

  
 
 

quick links

my account
ToS
random story
site rules
help
merchandise


  
 
 

fanfictionworld.net