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Review:my_voice_rising says:
I'm going to have to review as I go, because there is too much to comment on and I don't want to forget! :)

Really great rationalizing behind why Penny told Oliver that Rona knew who the strategist is. Simple, but it makes total sense. He wouldn't expect to be led right to her.

I can't help but feel that you're satirizing other characterizations of Oliver here... as in, I hope you are ;) He's very flirtatious at first, to an almost unbelievable extent. But then you turn it on its head and make it totally canon--the only reason he was acting so OOC was for the sake of Quidditch, which is entirely IC. Really great, there. I love the line, "'What sort of pickup line is that?' 'One that I thought would work.'" Their dialogue is really great and their characters are well-matched for one another.

And hats off for the little bit of feminism in here! Of course Oliver would think it was a bloke. I love that little twist, but again it makes total sense. Also that she hadn't even thought of calling herself the Strategist. I like that the Ravenclaw Quidditch team seems to have ignored her expertise thus far and that she's finally getting her due respect.

Really, really wonderful characterization here. Even that Oliver has a particular stance he takes during practices and that often he counts things off on his fingers. Your spelling, grammar and punctuation are perfect. And clearly you're an experienced writer. I cannot believe this is one of your "older, embarrassing" fics. I think it's completely wonderful. Reading on!

Author's Response: Bahaha, it's funny because you're mentioning a lot of things I added in after I first wrote this (I was, and still am, a chronic editor. I only stopped editing this fic when I had other fics to tend to, and then I was able to look back and officially classify this as 'old writing'). There was a lot I did to fill up the plot holes. I did try to sort-of subvert the love-hate cliches (I do satirize the hell out of Albus/OCs in another fic I have). I remember I wrote a lot of what I did because I felt like realistic progressions of relationships were underrepresented in fiction.

Feminism leaks into everything I write, aha, sprinkled everywhere really. I try to be super careful about the sort of messages that might come across in my writing, because I feel like the rom-com genre is fraught with enough terrible lessons already, and I don't need to contribute. I think there's a lot of 1) blaming the male lead 2) relying on the male lead, so the sexism goes both ways. What I wanted to say with this fic was, the blame goes both ways, and healthy relationships are all about communication. But I suppose it's still early to be rambling about this sort of stuff xD

Thanks so much again!


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