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Review:caoty says:
Hey there, it's caoty with your requested review.

So I don't usually read Remus/OC, but then again, I don't usually read things like this, either.

I'm quite impressed by the wolf, despite how little information we get about it. (The lack's a good thing, by the way.) It feels real even though it is (apparently) not real - partway through, I'd have bet actual money that it was going to turn out to be Fenrir Greyback having stolen James' invisibility cloak or something.
What I'm saying is, your wolf is totally realistic and creepy as hell, as is Esther's reaction to it. That said, you maybe could've emphasised Esther's fear of being seen as crazy, because it just sort of popped up after I'd spent a while thinking "Why the hell can't you just TELL someone you're being stalked by a great big dirty wolf???"

I quite liked Esther/Remus here; it was hopeful but still ominous (because of the, y'know, wolf thing), and the pacing was fine.

Speaking of pace, though, I'm not sure how Sirius manages to figure out Esther's wolf problem so quickly. I mean, doesn't he need a moment to think or something? He's smart, but the only person who can make connections like that is Sherlock Holmes.

...and yeah, you're right about the ending. It was powerful and definitely well-written, but I'm not sure I quite understand the running and the humanity and so on. Is she dying of a potion overdose?

One more critique (I know, there's a lot of them, this is the last one I swear): you've got a fair few typos, so it may be worth getting someone to beta for you or proofreading or something.

...I know, this review was harsh. I don't actually hate this story! In fact, I think it's good right now and you're definitely a talented writer, but this could do with a bit of polishing and expanding to make it really amazing. :)

Author's Response: Hello!
I'd never read a Remus/OC before I wrote this either; it's a ship quite over looked with fan fiction.

Really? *few* thank you. I was worried I was going to make it too creepy or not creepy enough. She told Remus but I totally agree with you, she could have told someone. I think she was scared.

Good point. Maybe, when I go back and edit it, I'll pace it out a bit better. (pace and dialogue are my weakness with stories :P)

the running was just put in for effect and yes, she died of a potion overdose. Sorry if I didn't make that clear.

Thank you for such a constructive review :)
Jasmine, x


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