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Review:Tonks1247 says:
Ahhh! I don’t know why I keep taking long breaks between reading chapters! Honestly, it makes no logical sense cause every time I come back I’m always so drawn into the story and wanting to know what’s going to happen next…it’s crazy.

This really is one of those stories that is so addicting once I get into it. I love the use of the different tenses, the two stories in one, how each flows into the other…you really have a phenomenal style in this story and it gets to me every time. Between the style and your characters…they so come to life in my head and it’s so easy to forget which time period the story actually takes place in, though really it does occur in both time periods…

And this chapter? My number one compliment is your imagery and the real life connections you add in. My favourite section of this chapter is: “It’s as if you think they can’t possibly be showing the right time and that if you blink they’ll change back to the right time. They don’t change at all, and, as you watch, the second hand ticks round past the number twelve. Another minute’s passed. Time marches on, relentlessly, unaware of your disbelief.” Like seriously, this is me every night. I’ll start working on something and I’ll get so absorbed that I lose track of time. I then usually end up looking at the clock around 1:30 or 2 in the morning and am like, seriously? I should have been in bed hours ago! I have early classes tomorrow! It’s just really awesome how you put in such simple connections like that, as it really helps to solidify Molly’s character in my head. I can totally imagine her character.

One thing I did notice a couple times, as the nitpicky reader I can be, there are some places in the chapter where it seems like you use commas when you really don’t have to. And I’m not saying you have to fix them all and they’re distracting…but they are something I notice and sometimes I have to reread sentence to make sure I understand them the way you intend the sentences to be ready. One example I have is this sentence: “She hadn’t even blushed too much when Rodolphus had spoken to her, or made a fool out of herself.” It may just be the organization of this sentence but the pause that is supposed to be after ‘her’ with that comma is just a bit awkwardly placed. You could probably just take out the comma but I don’t know…it may just be the way I’m reading it too. But a little revision in comma use may be a good idea?

Otherwise, as I’m sure you’re sick of hearing from me, this was an excellent chapter! I really enjoyed it and may yet review another chapter before bed! Great job!


Author's Response: Hey there! Thank you so much for stopping by! :)

Naww, no worries about being nitpicky - I love people who pick up on those things becuase I miss them all the time. I'm so bad with commas, so it's always so great when people notice those things! I'm so glad you're still enjoying this story, and sorry for the late response! :)

Aph xx

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