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Review:Jianne says:
Oooh, I'm very intrigued. A few of the hyphens at the beginning seemed like they were in strange places, (like "A long shower- in solitude was healthy.") but it wasn't a big deal. Apart from that, I'm quite enjoying it :)

Well done on a gripping beginning!

Author's Response: I want to thank you profusely, Jianne!

Upon reading it over for editing, you are correct. I hadn't noticed my growing affinity to the hyphens and dashes =). This is the first time I've ever tried anything like this and I'm nervous. My style is still undeveloped, I feel.

The use of those was to cause a 'pause' for effect, meaning to make the second half of the sentence more punctuated. Any suggestions? Or can I simply remove those and my message still come across?

I was worried the first chapter was too short and boring. Thank you again! I've 2 more currently waiting to be validated. If you don't mind, I would love for you to continue to offer suggestions that will make it easier to understand and read =)

With MUCH appreciation and thanks for your help,
Mirranda


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