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Review:Remus says:
Heya! Perelandra here from the forums! So sorry it took a while! Being slightly sick kinda ruins things.

The first thing I noticed and liked was the banner. I absolutely love it. Its simple but the coloring is what makes it.

Anyway! Hahaha! On to the story.

The first part of the story I came to the realization that you have an amazing talent to weave words together. I envy you! Not in a bad way but in a way I wish I had a bit of your talent to immediately suck people into the story. Even with the little description and setting, with your choice of words you managed to take me to the Headmaster's Office!

The grouping of Lust, greed, gluttony was great! I really had no idea how you were going to do it since my brain immediately associates it with the sexual, money and food. However, it was really refreshing to see your version. All three being associated with Lily's smiles, laughs and his memories of her that he hoarded. He needed it after having gone through that harsh life while growing up. Pretty much she was the light at the end of his tunnel.

The line "And he had no room in his tidily organized memory fragments for Lily-someone-else's" made me go 'awww' out loud.

I really wish you had expanded a bit more of the 'Envy' portion. You gave great examples and moments of the other sins. I know that you were covering three at a time but it seems that Severus is built more around 'Envy' than any other sin. In my honest opinion, Envy is his greatest sin and I think you were trying to bring that through by having it by itself. But I think it needs a bit more emphasis; he disliked Harry for being the son of James and Lily, you know.

Anyway! This was a great read! I really enjoyed your characterization and narrative. Thanks for requesting a review from me! :D


Author's Response: Hey! No worries about the response -- you were nice enough to be willing to do this for me, and that's so appreciated. The fact that you were sick is understandable! And isn't the banner fantastic? I'm kind of in love with hedwidgeon's stuff, no big deal. :3

I'm very glad you enjoyed this, too! Those are very encouraging words; I sometimes have trouble with the beginnings of stories, so hearing that you were drawn in by this one makes me feel fantastic. The notion of writing this about the seven deadly sins really popped into my head with no conscious thought, and I was pleasantly surprised at how easy it was to apply them all to Severus (who is, admittedly, generally the first character I'll go to in setting out to write a one-shot).

I do see what you mean about expanding the 'envy' portion of this story, although it is true that the other sections were longer because they consisted of groups of three sins, instead of one. And while I don't think it's perhaps entirely accurate to say that envy was Severus's greatest sin, or the sin that most defined him, I will try and expand on it. I appreciate you for pointing it out!

Thank you so much for taking the time to review this for me; it was such a nice thing to do, and really made me smile. Here's hoping that I might see you back by my page before too long! :)

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