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Review:Calypso says:
Hello- this is CalypsoJenna from the forums here with your requested review!

Blown away by this!

The first thing that struck me was your writing style. I found it very detailed and elegant- every word feels so precise. This chapter really demands to be read carefully, without scanning, or glossing over anything which was very much a good thing!

Your use of language is gorgeous. I loved the recurring images of words and letters and the very rich description all the way through. I found I could picture exactly what was happening throughout the chapter.

I didn't actually realise that the narrator was Gellert rather than Albus until I was a good few paragraphs in, which cast an interesting light on them both for me. While the books make a point a pointing out their differences, you've done a really good job of highlighting their similarities- the point about their shared optimism is a really good one. I think it's a very interesting idea that their- for want of a better word- relationship continued after Ariana's death. I think it's very in-character for Dumbledore to use whatever influence he might still have with Grindelwald to try and halt his power in a non-violent way- I'll be interested to see how you weave a plot out of their situation.

So yeah- I think Dumbledore's actions match his portrayal in canon and to be honest, we see so little of Gellert in the books, I think you have a lot of free reign with him.

I do think that sometimes the pacing is a little slow, and that some parts probably don't need quite so much detail. I understand that this is a chapter with a lot of internal rather than physical action and so it's naturally going to be a little slower-paced, but maybe for future chapters you could think about moving the story on a little quicker.

I'd also be interested to know exactly what part Grindelwald is playing in the Second World War. His musings on world domination were great- they really informed the reader about the way he thinks and I'd love to have that explained a little more fully.

So great chapter! You have a gorgeous style of writing, and both Albus' and Gellert's emotions come across beautifully. I'm really interested in what sort of plot they're going to follow, so if you'd like to re-request for further chapters, please do so!

-Bethany

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