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Review:No_oneKnows says:
Hello again!

First off, just a bit of nitpicking with the flow:

At ten minutes to eight that evening, Jane closed her books and silently rose from her armchair. Waving goodbye to Lily, she left the Gryffindor Common Room and slowly made her way down to the Hogwarts grounds. At lunch, Jane had been disrupted by McGonagall just as she was about to bite into a pheasant sandwich.

I think you should just make it a bit more obvious that the next scene unfolding was a memory because it seemed a bit jumbled :)

I really loved Lily's character in this chapter! She was very amusing but serious (I almost spelt it as Sirius) at the same time. I'd love to see more of her though :)

Again, I loved the interaction between Sirius and Jane! I'm beginning to think that they are really cute together :P Also, would there be more of the other Marauders??

Author's Response: Yeah, I can see what you're saying. I'll figure that part out, because it is a tad confusing. I love Lily too. There'll definitely be a lot more of her in this story, and maybe a little Lily/James action in the future ;)

Thanks! It's hard to create a character that a reader is going to accept when it comes to Sirius. He deserves a nice lady :D There's going to be a lot more of the Marauder, don't you worry about that!


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