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Review:Elphaba and Boyfriends says:
Hi, Elphaba here with your requested review!

First of all, while this chapter is slow paced (or "leisurely" paced, which sounds more complimentary) your writing is lovely. :) If I were to shorten anything, it would be the description of the parchment at the very beginning. I'm not saying "hack this passage to bits," but maybe snip out a sentence or two. This was the only section that I felt was a little too slow.

I really like the suspense that you build at the beginning by not immediately revealing whether this is Albus or Gellert who we are with. I also like the connection you make between the wizarding war and WW2. It made me wonder whether Gellert IS Hitler, or if his actions are just paralleling Hitler's. I suppose that will all be revealed as the story continues. :)

Okay, so you mentioned a cameo, and I'm guessing this is Fawkes' appearance? I think this is brilliant! I don't believe it conflicts with anything that has been revealed in the story canon, and it seems very fitting that Albus may "inherit" him from Gellert, given his patronus takes the form of a phoenix.

We know very little about Grindelwald from the books, so it's hard to say how he should be portrayed. I like your version of him, though. He seems charismatic and sees himself as acting in the best interests of wizardkind. As warped as he may be, he seems more sympathetic than Voldemort, which I think is important if there is going to be any romance between him and Dumbledore. :)

Overall, I enjoyed this chapter very much and would be happy to read more!

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