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Review:kjp says:
I am no sorry its taken me so long to get this review too you. I'm kjp from the hpff forums. I'm just all over the place at the moment and it just slipped from my mind. So again i'm so sorry.
I'll stop saying sorry now before I end up not saying anything else.
You have a excellent start here, I can see you have the basics down for all the characters and seem to be able to write them well. I would advise getting a banner because you have no idea how much that draws people towards the stories (shamefully I usually only read stories with banners- yes its bad I know)
Another thing to point out is that towards the beginning of the story I think you're paragraphs are too long too many times. I think its better if their are loads of short ones rather than not so many longer ones (Am I making any sense right now?)
Other than that its a great start and i'll be interested to hear more from you.
I'm not going to bore you with grammar because i'm terrible with spotting that but I just want to say sorry again and If you want another review please come ask again i'll try as best as I can to get it done sooner.
- kjp :D
9/10 from me :)

Author's Response: I'm glad you enjoyed the begining of this story, and as far as the banner I have one.. I've just had a hard time posting it because the the link leeps breaking :( But I'm working on getting it up ;)

I'll be back requesting the next chapter soon ;)
Thanks for the R&R

~Moon~


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