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Review:caoty says:
Well. This was intense.

I'm not much one for Snily - at all - and your fic, as well-written as it is, hasn't changed that. Then again, I don't think you were trying to. Erm. Anyway.

Your use of tenses was what really stood out to me in this fic, oddly enough. You've kind of mixed present and past tense in such a way that it doesn't feel disjointed but completely continuous, even though we're going from the present to memory to the present again. Well done on that.

I was also impressed by your description of the little we see of Lily. A lot of the time in fic, she's this impossibly-perfectly-beautiful girl, but you've emphasised her more unattractive traits in such a way that the reader can see them and still understand why Snape loves her.

And everything about Lily/James is win. Moving on.

That said, there are a couple of problems with pronouns in this because of the style of writing, such as:

>He loved his mother and it hurt him that he caused her death.

which I had to read three times so that I'd stop wondering where the hell Snape's Oedipus complex was in canon. :P
It gets confusing, is what I'm saying.

All in all, though, this is a very well-written piece about difficult emotions and characters. Well done! :)

Author's Response: Don't worry, I hate Snily with a burning passion and nothing and no one will ever change that for me! :p
Yeah, I had so much trouble with tenses, so I'm glad to hear that it wasn't disjointed and all bumpy. :)
Every single Lily fic that I've read is that she is perfect and no human being is perfect! That's always bothered me, so I decided to throw that in there. ;)
Yes, everything about James/Lily is win. James/Lily is my OTP and will forever be! :p
It did get confusing for me too, but I didn't know how to change that. :/ I'll go over it soon, and then try and see if I can reword it! Thanks for the tips though! :)
Thank you so much for this lovely review! I'm glad you liked it! :)


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