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Review:javct says:
Back.

Can I compliment you on your use of dialogue? It's amazing, can I steal your dialogue talent. It just seemed so... natural and un-forced, you also made them sound like normal humans and not people reading from a movie-script, they still stuttered and made human mistakes. Your dialogue is really good.

That said, nothing much happened in this chapter. You introduced a new character who shares her passion for dancing which was good and you showed the readers some of Anastasia's morals which I loved but that was it.

Also, she is on holidays right now right? Does she do her Ballet classes during the holidays because she can't attend them because she goes to Hogwarts? (I just thought I'd check incase I got it wrong)

Are we going to see the mysterious boy on the motorbike *cough*Sirius*cough* at this club? I'd like to think so :P

I think the pace is coming around nicely. The story, to me, flows naturally and doesn't have huge gaping holes between time periods (which annoys me sometimes).

Feel free to re-request!
Jasmine, x

Author's Response: Again, I am going to start by apologins profoundly for taking so long in replying, since i felt escecially guilty when i read this review. I hope i have not made you think i am ungrateful for your words, because i am not. I went throught the roof when i read you liked my dialogue. When i started writing that was one of my weakest points and it has taken me a lot of practice to make my characters sound more natural when talkng to each other.
I had noticed that this chapter is a little loose around the edges, so I am editing it as well. The point of this chapter was to introduce Alicia and her repationship with Anya, how they are different and how they fit toghether. When i first wrote it, this chapter and the next one were supposed to be a single chapter but i cut it because i thought it was too long. But now I've changed my mind. I write long chapters, I need to get used to the idea, because cuttingt hem in half interrupts the story and drags it out.
Yeah, Sirius is goign to come on the the next chapters. Him and James, and belive it or not, Regulus as well.
Im relieved you found the pace and the flow ok. I was so concerned when i first requested. I am eidting the story melting chapters toghether and cutting back unnessecary bits, but your reviews helped me decide the keep the first few chapter as they are, so thank you and again, sorry for the lateness of my reply.
You have been most kind and I hope i can reaquest again, as soon as a spot is available in your thread.


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