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Review:HarrietHopkirk says:
I really, really like this. I love me a bit of Albus/Gellert, and so I was really excited to read this!

Your descriptive skills are just fantastic, from the off: a cream sheet marred by slender black lines. Such beautiful stuff. I also love how you've described absolutely everything - the movement of his fingers, the surroundings, everything. It's small details like this that make the story and give such insight into the emotions of the character.

Just watch out for sentences that end in triples or lists. I do this all the time, and it really adds to flow of the story, but sometimes if used to often can get a little repetitive. Some of them are really pretty though, so I would only edit a few out :).

I love this bit: It is so familiar, his name written in that handwriting, the ls looped and curved, running into one another, every letter linked, and it has become more familiar than before in the last few years, since the war started. Familiar and yet not familiar, because his name now always precedes a letter no longer excitable, from one friend to another, prolonging that days debate, but a plea, a string of arguments against his actions and those of his troops, begging, hollow words.

So, so, pretty. Really wonderful writing style.

I love the little touch with the ribbons and the letters, and the fact Gellert has kept them all. I love your characterisation of Gellert, the idea of the map, his plans for world domination, all so beautifully laid out in such excellent prose.


I love that you added in the section at the end with Albus - they both optimists, both equals.


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