Report a Review

This service is designed to allow HPFF users to alert the staff about inappropriate reviews.

Review:Elphaba and Boyfriends says:
Hi, Elphaba here with your requested review!

First of all, I think you've done a very good job of characterizing the 11th Doctor. I could hear the dialog delivered in his fast-paced speaking style as I read. The playfulness (hide and seek) and affection (kissing her on the forehead) you give him match my expectations, too.

I really like your characterization of Luna as well, especially when she tells him that he has old eyes. I think she is very perceptive in general, and I can imagine them having these types of interactions. Luna would make an interesting companion for the Doctor! I can imagine them getting along quite well.

The main critique I have is that she introduces herself as Luna, and then later he addresses her as Miss Lovegood -- I would expect her to ask him how he knows her last name. It's not a big thing, just something that stuck out.

There was one other minor mechanical thing. The story is from Luna's first person perspective, but at one point you write "He seemed different, a lot more childish and carefree than the last time they had spoken." I think "they" should be "we" to preserve the first-person pov.

The cliff hanger ending with the Dalek is practically begging for another story! If you write more about the Doctor and Luna, it would be really interesting if they dealt with the wizarding war or its aftermath. As twisted as the Doctor's timeline is, he does always seem to know what major events are going on and how they fit within history. I would expect him to grasp that the war has effected Luna in some way. :)

Author's Response: Hello!

Really? Yes! *throws fist in the air in victory*

I always thought that out of all the Harry Potter characters, Luna was the most likely to travel with the Doctor because of her quirkiness.

Really? Must have missed both of them -- thank you for pointing them out.

I'm not really planning on writing a sequel, or any more crossovers for a while for that matter. But if I do write that I'll keep that in mind.

Thank you for an amazing review!
Jasmine, x

Your Name:
Reason for this Report:

  • The review is offensive.
  • The review is spam or chit-chat (not actually a review).
  • The review was double posted.
  • The review has formatting problems.
Repeat the number: 988
Submit Report: