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Review:Calypso says:
Hello, this is CalypsoJenna (finally) here with your requested review!

Woah- I had to read this through a couple of time to get my head round it! It was certainly very unconventional, but engaging nonetheless.

I really enjoyed your use of language- there were some gorgeous turns of phrase in this piece- I loved the "huffing whispers of Muggle motorcars" and "it takes all of my weakness to keep from slipping under."

I found the whole tone of this piece very dreamy and remote, and this was helped by the motion between the normal words, italics and parentheses- the way you switched between them seemed to echo the instability of the protagonist's mind. I loved the effect of the repeated words too. They worked very well and didn't upset the flow at all.

Another thing I enjoyed in this story was the imagery, and the way you maintained themes like the river, the mud, the daffodils and the sense of time passing throughout the whole piece.
I liked your playing with the ideas of past and present near the beginning- I felt like time played an important part in this piece of writing, with the way the narrative changed around.

And then the title. I loved the title. It was so sweet and open, it seemed to fit in with the water imagery, and it really made me curious about the story, so well done for that as well!

-Bethany

Author's Response: Hi darling! Thank you so much for the review! And please, don't ever worry about any delay where I'm concerned - I'm a very patient woman!

Haha, yes, 'woah' is a good way to describe this, isn't it? It's definitely very unconventional and different for fanfiction!

I'm so glad you liked the language - it's something that I pride myself on because I think that it's something that I accomplish fairly well. Oh my, you're the first to mention the "huffing whispers of Muggle motorcars" - that's one of my personal favorites and I'm so glad you liked it!

I'm glad you thought it all sort of complimented the story. I did try to make it very cohesive and flowing and interwoven, you know? Oh yes, the repetition is pretty good (I think) - it is something that almost all my readers comment on and seem to like!

I'm a huge advocate of evocative, emotional imagery, so I'm happy you enjoyed it! I would say that imagery and description are my specialty!

You're the first to comment on my title, thank you! I wanted something perfect and as you said, it works well with the water imagery.

Thank you so much for the wonderful review! I really appreciate it! :)


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