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Review:Roots in Water says:
It's Roots in Water here with your review!

Wow. I can certainly see why you said it's a little different but I liked it. In particular, I really liked how you divided up their lives into four seasons- it definitely fit in a way I hadn't though about before. Spring represented the beginning of their relationship perfectly, just as summer did the "height" of their friendship. And then the fall was a great metaphor for the period when their relationship began to split down the center, when she became cooler towards him because he was doing things that she didn't approve of. Finally, winter suited the final stage, not because Lily was any colder than she had been before but because Snape himself had become more bitter and hard-hearted.

However, in the recollections I do think that they were a tad too "dreamy". Though you did a great job of getting across the feelings that Snape would have felt, I feel like the descriptions could have been bigger. I did understand the incidents that you were describing, since they're probably the most significant ones in his life, but I felt that you could have expanded on them a little. It would ground the sections a little more, I think.

For example, in the winter section you could describe his bitterness over Lily's life with another man in greater detail as well as how she constantly puts her life in danger because she's a part of the Order of the Phoenix (I bet that her insistence on being a part of it really made him worry at times and he wouldn't like the feeling of being worried). On the other hand, I will admit that I'm not overly familiar with the concept of Romanticism and perhaps it's meant to be more floaty than solid and down-to-earth...

As well, I do think that the first section is good as it is- you've clearly identified the event that's happening and it has a childish grace to it.

I also loved your ending. I've always liked it when authors are able to relate the endings of their novels to their beginnings, bringing the books in a complete circle, and the last sentence does this perfectly. As well, in the last sentence you did a brilliant job of describing Snape's death and exactly what Lily means to him. He continued living after she died so that he could make up for his betrayal of her, so that he could live up to the promise she asked of him, but he was far from happy. He looked forward to the time when he could be reunited with her- a new beginning, another spring. :)

All in all I think that you did a great job with this story. It definitely wasn't cliche, since you took the incidents and gave your own spin to them. And they were definitely the instances that had great influence in shaping his life; they represented the four seasons of his life, as you showed here. Thanks for requesting and I hope that my comments were helpful!

Author's Response: Hi! Thanks so much for getting to me so quickly.

I'm really glad you had time to review this, since I know you've read some of my other stuff. I'm grateful for the praise and your honesty!

The romantics were all about moments of overflow of powerful feelings (often recollected in tranquility), and thats what i was going with, but at the end of the day I do want the reader to enjoy as well as myself.

I really like what you suggested about the Order of the Phoenix, I had thought about this before but didnt think to put it in here, I think that (and your general suggestions) could help solidify the pieve.

Thanks again, I really appreciate it! :)


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