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Review:LittleWelshGirl99 says:

Haha, the idea of a can of Sprite featuring in the Muggle Studies class really made me laugh! Such an everyday object for muggles, and the class is being taught about it. I like the initial way you described it- ‘a cylindrical, shiny object’. And ohmygosh, I wanted to give Alice this ginormous hug when she was given the can as a real, heart-warming gift! Professor Mink seems nice. I’m glad James Potter got what he deserved in that memory (which was a great way to start the chapter, by the way).

I think the memory (being in past tense) made me realise what a flawless present tense you’re writing the story in! It’s really wonderful. Keeping up a present tense is extremely hard to do (for me, anyway! I always slip into past), and it adds such a sense of ‘here and now’ to things. Lovely writing. :D

I like the fact that Alice is friendly with the house elves, and oh! We meet Albus! Or should I say Mr. Alby Potter? I got this weird feeling of satisfaction when Alice called him that, as if she was defying her loser-self. I thought she’d be the sort of person to go all red and babbly around the love of her life, but apparently not :P.

One thing I noticed- if Albus heard Ellie calling her ‘Miss Alice’ then why does he ask her for her name? I love the awesome way she calls herself Sprite though, so I think you should keep that in there. Maybe Ellie could just call her ‘Miss Allie’ or ‘Miss Nicholson’? I don’t know 

Another great chapter!

-Annon ♥

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