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Review:AlphabetDesperado says:
I enjoy your story so far, and it's pretty well written. Just make sure you proofread because there are some slightly confusing errors in some places. And please, for the love of God, stop using the phrase "as ass" (i.e.: "This is awkward as ass."). It just kind of ruins what would otherwise be good. Like, yes, I know people say it in real life (although I would probably use "as fuck" - but you know, personal preference haha), but it just doesn't sound good in a story. Also, there was one paragraph where you said "shit" like four times. And it wasn't a particularly long paragraph, either. Obviously, this story is completed, but maybe in future projects, keep the sailor language to a minimum (: It just sounds better.

Author's Response: I understand your opinion, and with some stories I'll take it into account, but I'm not going to take it out of this story because...they're seventeen. Most seventeen year olds swear...a lot and so do adults. But I understand if you don't like it. Thank you for reading and reviewing!

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