|Review:||Indigo Seas says:|
I actually read this chapter directly after the first, but I've been so preoccupied that I've yet to leave a review for it! No matter - I'm here now, completing the Review Exchange.
Again, I am absolutely, 100% thrilled that you're not melodramatic. It would be so, so easy to take a curve into the "WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME, I HATE EVERYONE, LEAVE ME ALONE FOREVER" kind of thing (sorry for the caps), and you haven't. I think that's a sign that you're very in control of your writing, whether purposefully or just sort of subconsciously. Either way, you've written enough to know what you're doing, and it's marvelous.
And there are little snippets of questions that you've sprinkled around. They're mostly your main character asking them of herself, but I like that they a) sort of break up the flow in a nice, short way and b) make the reader stop very briefly and consider them. It's a great way to get people involved in the writing, and I think you've done a fantastic job of it here.
And I think I mentioned this in the first review, but if I did, it bears repeating: your character has a marvelously strong voice. (Stephen King says never to use adverbs, but I'm going to ignore him here and use "marvelously" anyway because it is marvelously appropriate to use the word "marvelously." Anyway.) I don't know if you've really made an effort to plan her out and flesh out her character on paper or not, and I don't really care either way, because whatever you've done, it is working really, really well for me/you/everybody involved. Her thoughts, her actions, her inner motivators... they make her extremely likable and create this vulnerable atmosphere that's just... gah. Blissful to read. Blissful in the sense that it flows really nicely and the writing is good, not blissful as in, "oh yay! Grief!"
Your second chapter is marvelously (take that, Stephen King) marvelous and I am completely (sorry, Stephen King), irrevocably (this is ridiculous, Stephen King) in love with it. You've done a fantastic job of setting up your characters and their inner mindsets, and I cannot praise it enough.
Author's Response: I again have no idea how to respond to this absolutely stunning review. You've left me speechless by all your marvelous adverbs ;). I will try to sound coherent but i've never really been great with such praise as you've given here. I'm actually a little scared to complete the next chapter as i'm not sure it can live up to such high standards!
I'm thrilled that you still think it's still not overly dramatic! This wasn't something i did intentionally I think, but i think it happened because i'm not naturally a big fan of the overdramatic stories here and there is more to this story than just her grief.
I have not planned her out that much so it thrills me to hear that you feel she's so fleshy. :D I have this floaty idea of her in my head and have general things written about her like her hair or eye colour but i don't really like those big character sketches people do. I like seeing the character take shape as i write the actual story and let her breath and move in it.
bah thank you so much for this squee worthy review! I'm completely blown away by your praises and insight! thank you very much and if you do continue reading this, i'd be very much interested in how you think it turns out. :D