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Review:Lily says:
Your story is great, but it could be an amazing amount better if you didn't start every sentence with 'I'. Use clauses, change your sentence structure or just shove the sentences together! :) I know it can be hard to prevent it in a first person narrative, but it's necessary or the story is stunted.
Love the story though, don't get me wrong.

Author's Response: okay then

thanks..


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