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Review:Cavell says:
YOU. VAL. EVIL PERSON. I KNOW YOU WARNED ME LAST CHAPTER, BUT UGH. I can't believe that cliffie. Hmph. I never even saw it coming - that's how good cliffies are formed, you see. I'm so jealous :p

Anyway, my own ridiculousness aside, I seriously adored this chapter! You have a genuine sense of humour which I adore and it translates into your writing so flawlessly that I find myself grinning at practically every second paragraph :D I know I've mentioned this in my last review, but I really do mean it - I'm jealous ;)

I do wish that maybe the team would be introduced a little more naturally, like less of 'this is this-and-this etc.' but when I look over it I think that maybe this way is more suited to Kiwi's thoughts (LOVE her name, by the way!) so it doesn't bother me too much, if you're wondering - I'm honestly not sure, since we've just met Kiwi and all and I'm not too sure what to make of her yet.

However, I can say that she and Oliver are developing as characters quite well and I totally did not see the food fight in the kitchen coming, which is a relief because if you aren't careful this story could easily become cliche which would be a genuine shame because it is going quite well and I do want to see where you're going with this, so I can't wait for the next chapter! :)

--Linn

Author's Response: Linn, I am so sorry for the late response...

First of all, even though I read your review a week ago, I want you to know that it was the best part of my day, after pancakes. Nothing beats pancakes.

You of all people shouldn't be jealous. I fangirl all over the place with your stories, you know, and when I first read Journey to the River Sea the first thing I thought was: "This is so unfair. She has so much talent, I wish I could write like her." And I'm not joking, this is an actual quote.

I wasn't really satisfied with the introduction of the team... But I wanted to include them somehow, just a bit, and it's the only way I could think of. I'll probably go and edit sometime in the distant future...

I love her name too. Nuff said.

I am so glad you thought the food fight wasn't too cliche. I am /trying/ to steer the story away from cliche, though I'm afraid it's not going to be very true as you'll see in the next chapter, but I hope that it's not too big an issue.

Thank you so much for the amazing review! :)


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