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Review:pookielow says:
u put wayy too much dialogue and description sometimes... could u just move on with the story??
the only exciting thing tht has happened in 16 CHAPTERS is anya running away.

Author's Response: hi there. I write a lot of dialogue because i am very serious about the whole 'show not tell' thing, but apparently i have over dont it a bit. I always go to extremes, it's a flaw of mine... But i have taken your advice to heart - mostly because I too feel that i am drawing this out. I have started editing the story (cut out almost 20.000 words) I did that because of another reviwer was of your same idea, though not quite as poliely as you - and cutting out the parts that dont help it move along. Im going to update the shorter version once Im finished and i promise that Im goign to bear in mind to be more 'to the point' when i write again.
thank you for the advice, i sincerely apriciate it - and also, thank you so much for reading this far. dont give up on this story yet, im really trying to do my best.


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