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Review:CambAngst says:
Hello, again! You're getting your chapters out at a prolific rate lately. It's put me rather behind. So without further ado...

You did a good job of advancing the timeline since the last chapter without coming right out and smacking the reader upside the head with it. Alastor's observations on his own growth and the relative awkwardness of his teenage proportions set the stage well.

I really liked the way that he breaks down Professor Trout's character and analyzes her motivations and tactics. The details you provide for her fit very nicely with his analysis, from the physical to the behavioral. The lessons that he has taken from his father, combined with his own observant and analytical nature, show through really well in the early part of the chapter.

His intuition also comes through really clearly. As soon as she begins to move, we can feel the bad news coming.

It was sort of interesting that he seems to avoid dealing with the situation for a while. The way he waits in his seat and then slowly packs up his things, followed by taking a lengthy route to Dumbledore's office, seemed a bit at odds with the very methodical, efficient Moody of later years. I'm curious as to what you had in mind with this. Showing us that he was still a work in progress?

The small observation about Dumbledore's candies really jumped out at me for some reason. It's such a small thing, yet Alastor seizes on it and uses it to draw inferences about his head of house. It was a nice little detail to work in.

One thing I felt rather curious about that you didn't go into any depth on was how Moody thinks of Dumbledore at this point. Since the two of them will work very closely together in later years, I felt really interested in getting your perspective on their early relationship and interactions.

Such a terrible thing, learning that his father had been killed. There's just no doubt that an event like this would make a huge impact on a young man. The fact that he didn't seem well prepared for the news -- he knew that it was likely, yet he had a hard time accepting it, anyway -- is certainly something that his analytical mind is going to seize on and make corrections.

Overall, this chapter advanced the story nicely and filled in another part of the picture for Moody's young life.

I did notice a couple of things you might want to take another look at:

-- "As recent as a few years ago, he would brag to his mum..." - recently?

-- "And though his father couldn’t update him on the details of his current case (they had moved again shortly after Alastor had received his letter from Hogwarts and the case was now very close to its burning point) since a single letter taken and read before it reached Alastor could be the end of progress or—as much as Alastor hated to think about it—his life." - I think this sentence is missing its conclusion. Using the word "though" in this way implies that you're drawing some sort of contrast between two concepts, and this sentence only has the first.

Overall, you have a very enjoyable story going on here. I'll see whether I can't get caught up soon...

Author's Response: Once again I apologize for taking so long to respond to your review. I really do appreciate the time you take to read and review these stories!

I'm glad that you thought that the jump in time wasn't too bad since the story does have several jumps in time as we see significant moments in his life. This story is kind of a drive-by look at his life. :)

It was certainly interesting to write his analysis of her since it gave me a chance to fully explore a very minor/secondary character while also exploring his mindset and motives.

Yes, I would say that that was why I had him be very slow in his progress toward Dumbledore's office. He's still young and while he's learned to be efficient and practical he still isn't able to put it into practice all the time. As I tried to show in the chapter, Moody suspects what Dumbledore will tell him and dreads the confirmation. He was very close with his father and wanted to avoid hearing the awful news... But he was also realistic and knew that not hearing the news wouldn't change what happened and that's why he still went to Dumbledore's office, even if it was by a roundabout route.

I definitely agree with you on your point about how it would be very interesting to see Moody's opinion on Dumbledore at this point in his life. I was originally going to put more in on this subject and then forgot... Oops. But I will definitely edit in some of his thoughts because it would be very interesting to see his thoughts on this matter.

Thanks for pointing out those typos/unfinished sentences. I do agree that that sentence is unfinished and I will fix it!

Thanks once again for reading and reviewing! I do have the next chapter ready to upload but I may wait a few more days before posting it...


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