Report a Review

This service is designed to allow HPFF users to alert the staff about inappropriate reviews.

Review:Violet Gryfindor says:
Oooh, this chapter was so good! You know, it didn't feel that long once I got into it, which was in the first scene. The alternating scenes worked very well here, pushing things forward with a wonderful flow - it reminded me a lot of a television show, oddly enough, like the way that Game of Thrones switches between POVs in a single episode. That's what this chapter was like, and it added dimension - even more so, it added contrast between the poverty of the outside world and the wasteful wealth of the aristocracy. And what was great was how Sirius saw this very clearly - he is a smart kid, and I can see why Cygnus felt threatened by him. The Sirius in this story sees the world as it is, which is why he seems to feel so much pain all of the time - he knows that his world is wrong, and he sees himself as the one who can fix it... once he's old enough. He's gaining the experience he needed now, and it will make him a better king (if he gets to that point, of course :P).

The descriptions in this chapter are amazingly vivid. I could visualize Narcissa's entrance in to the ballroom and the wonders she saw there - all the colour and splendour. It reminded me of the 1996 movie version of Hamlet with the coronation scene having a similar flavour - in that one, however, it was Hamlet who was all in black, whereas here, it's Bellatrix. I'm interested in your portrayal of her - it's very canon, but that also makes her stand out in this setting. Like both Cissy and Molly immediately see, Bella doesn't belong - she's not like a king's daughter, and I'm eager to see where you'll take that idea in future chapters.

While the scenes in the castle are blindingly colourful, those in the forest are very sepia in tone - it's very much like a Medieval forest, or perhaps more accurately (lets just go with Shakespeare here, for obvious reasons), a forest of Arden, where transformation and maturation occur. Yet at the same time, it's perfectly canon because it's in the forest that the Marauders had their legendary adventures. I also loved the way that you developed Sirius's relationships with both Remus and James. That last scene was unexpected, but it was great to see James taking Sirius under his wing, showing that he'd truly accepted him, and that all four of them are in the same boat - all alone, homeless, and afraid. Your Remus is someone I want to give a really big hug to - that scene at the beginning after he lashes out at Sirius was beautifully written, his desire for a friend very moving. It's not pathetic, but rather heartwrenching - he still possesses too much strength of character to be an object of pity, which makes for a strong interpretation of Remus's character.

So hopefully this insane rambling has made up for the extreme lateness of this review. I'm kicking myself for not having read this fantastic chapter sooner - it's of excellent quality and moves the plot forward effectively and, better yet, excitingly. I love the world-building you're doing here, how you're constructing the characters in this different universe, adapting them to new conditions while still making the most of canon details. The best of luck writing the next chapter - I'll certainly be looking out for it! :D

Your Name:
Reason for this Report:

  • The review is offensive.
  • The review is spam or chit-chat (not actually a review).
  • The review was double posted.
  • The review has formatting problems.
Repeat the number: 301
Submit Report: