Heya! Perelandra here from forums!
Haha, I went from never reading a Susan Bones fic to reading two back to back. XD This is going to be interesting...the rhyming!
As I tell some of the people I review, when I review I do it with two windows open. One with the story and the other with the review box. That way I can stop at a certain point, comment on something whether is something I liked or a mistake and then continue reading.
Your story, however, had me glued to one screen! The rhyming made the story flow so well that I found myself reading out loud only stopping when there was a period or when I had to scroll down to keep reading. The way the story moved, felt and rhymed reminded me of Dr. Seuss' books. It felt very whimsical.
Her characterization was great! I like how her family says she's small and call her a mouse thinking, quite literally, very little of her. The professor made me laugh though! Poor Susan, always getting forgotten despite being in a small classroom.
I've never been a Hufflepuff fan myself and I consider myself a Slytherin to the heart. However, I really enjoyed the way that she defended her 'Puff's honor. She breaks from the typical 'cliche' of a Hufflepuff, stands her ground and manages to convince me that she is every single house but even better: she's kind.
Loved that little detail right there!
The description was amazing even with the rhyming! I have no idea how you managed to do it but kudos to you!!
Thanks for the great read!!
Author's Response: Ahh, it's been a ridiculously and inexcusably long time that this Amazing review has gone unanswered and I am so sorry for that! If you forgive me, I will give you cookies! *bribes*
Haha Really, though, this review has me smiling from ear to ear! When you said that you couldn't even pull your eyes away from the screen for long enough to take notes, it basically blew my mind. That's incredible! I was so, so anxious before posting this story, unsure if I had found the right balance between rhyming and story-telling, so it's wonderful to hear how glued to the screen it had you! And I adore Dr. Seuss, so that comparison alone is just beyond my expectations! Eep!
I've never written Susan Bones before, but I tried to tackle her almost like an OC that I could envision fitting into Hufflepuff, so thank goodness you liked her! And the mouse analogy was actually the foundation for this entire story, so I'm so glad it worked out so well and made sense! Yay!
Wha'??? haha I guess it's okay that you're not a huge fan of the House of Puff, and on some level I actually understand it because even in the books the House is not described in a very flattering light. Then again, either is Slytherin... ;) But I'm glad that my version of Susan stood out positively for you and for Hufflepuff House. I think Hufflepuff certainly does have some people who do fit into the less-than-stellar category, but that in no way means that every Hufflepuff is some sort of leftover, and I love writing an empowered Puff! I'm so glad you liked her!
So basically, in conclusion, this review has been just incredible to read and reread! I'm sorry again for monstrous delay, but I am unendingly appreciative of this beautiful comment! Thank you!!! ^.^