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Review:lia_2390 says:
There's something about this that leaves me caught up in everything. Maybe that's what present tense does - it leaves you in the moment. Not to mention your enviable writing style - one which I always enjoyed reading.

I thought this was a bit sad even in the first section - it all ended before it began. It ended the moment he set his eyes on her.

I've seen writers approach this storyline all the time, in so many different ways, all leading to a similar outcome. You wrote a very convincing, young Severus Snape here. I realise the story is strictly dealing with him and Lily, but I like that you've included the mentions of his mother, their problems at home with his father, and his death eater friends, which makes me think that yes, he is in a different place, but not entirely out of the loop. If that makes sense.

Lily's characterisation, however, was interesting to say the least. To be fair, I haven't read much with her. Most of the time, she's the same person - few dared to venture past the cliché Marauder era - Lily for the sake of maturity. Again, I've found yours believable. I'm not one of those people who believed she was such a saint, so I'm thrilled you haven't painted her with that same brush. She's a bit more daring here, and almost a bit selfish….emphasis on almost. For me, it looks like she keeps up appearances with Severus for the sake of it, but her heart really isn't there. I can't say who that benefited in the end though.

'You left me first, remember? - That's just it, isn't it? But then you have to ask yourself if she was really there from the start. That's why the last line of your first paragraph is so important.

I really enjoyed reading this, and I'm sorry I had nothing constructive to say.

Lia

Author's Response: Hi there! No worries :) I'm really happy you liked this and yes, you've nailed it: it all ended before it even began. I'm so happy you liked my Lily, I've never believed that she'd be another Hermione. She was rebelling against a force that was greater than herself, but as a Gryffindor you're passionate, loyal and frankly a bit stupid and rash at times. As for who gained anything from the relationship? I think they both kind of got burnt in the fire. They didn't ever walk away from it and it ate them up and destroyed them.

I'm so happy you liked this. Thank you so much for your wonderful review.


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