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Review:Calypso says:
Hello, this is CalypsoJenna from the forums, here with your requested review!

That first paragraph plunges the reader straight into your story and grabs at the attention immediately which was good. I enjoyed having to figure out what was going on for myself and not have it spelled out.

Remus was ever so sweet. It made me sad to think of him ending up injuring her because we all know what a good guy he is when he's not a wolf. I wondered at the end if he really did like her or if he was just being kind to her to atone for what he'd done...

The presence of Esther's wolf was really strong throughout the story. You could completely understand why she felt so haunted by it. I'd be interested to know how real the wolf actually is- obviously he's physical enough to open up the scratches on her back, but as the story went on, I sort of wondered if it wasn't just a personification
of her fears...
That said, I would have liked to have seen the suspense built up a bit more. Maybe you could find a way of stretching out the tension a little more during the big reveals?

I liked Sirius a lot. I could just hear him saying a lot of those lines in my head- the kind of bluntness coupled with his real kindness seemed very in character.
I also enjoyed Remus and Esther's kiss and- as you put it- the lack of "butterflies and fireworks." It seemed very genuine and all the more lovely for it- and it made the ending all the more tragic.

I must admit that the ending was a real shock! It wasn't at all what I saw coming, but (re-reading) it does seem to make sense in her situation. I just wish she could have found a way to get help :'(

There were a number of grammar mistakes I picked up on too- non capitalisations, spacing issues. I'm you could pick them up fairly easily with a re-read.

And her final words to Remus were gorgeous, although very sad. They brought the piece to a lovely, natural close.

-Bethany

Author's Response: Hello!

I'm glad you liked the beginning. I was worried that some readers wouldn't want to figure things out and would want to be told what happened but I know that as a reader, I like trying to figure some things out for myself.

REMUS REALLY DID LIKE HER! HE DID! It's complicated because Remus really did her and he had since the moment he met her but he also wanted to atone his mistakes because of what he did which is why he got the sleepless draught and woke her from her nightmare. But he really did like her -- love her almost.

Suspense isn't really my strong point so thank you for pointing that out. I'll keep that in mind when I go back and edit and I'll also keep my eyes open for grammatical mistakes etc.

Thank you for such a lovely review!
Jasmine, x


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