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Review:magnolia_magic says:
Molly! I saw that you had a Founders fic up and I just had to read it. And I'm so glad I did! This was awesome! :)

I love the present tense, first of all. I think it adds a lot of intensity, and it fits well with the mood of the piece. And you've got great imagery going here, particularly the description of the fight at the very beginning. It thrusts the reader right into the middle of everything, and I just love that. And you have some beautiful lines describing the characters. I'm so impressed by how much you managed to convey about these characters in so few words.

Here's my favorite part: "Fair Rowena, with her bent head and broken crown, Good Godric, with his soured nobility, and Dear Helga, with her kind eyes turned cruel. These are his friends now; these are their true colors." I just think this is gorgeous, and so heartbreaking. I even felt just a little sorry for Salazar there, even though the rest of his narrative and dialogue just chilled me to the bone.

My only issue was the very end. I like the way it just sort of breaks off; it gives an incomplete feel to this that I thought was so cool. But I wasn't clear on what Helga meant by her statement. Does she want to remedy the crack made when people apparate? I think maybe a few words of clarification would help. That way, readers will be left thinking only about the awesomeness of the story, and not going, "Wait, what?" Haha I hope that makes sense :)

I'm so glad I read this! It leaves me wanting to read more about these characters, and your writing is just beautiful. Keep up the great work!

--Mags

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