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Review:Jess the Enthusiast says:
Hi there! First I'd like to thank you for participating in my forum challenge; I really appreciate it! I've been very excited to read this since you posted it and it did not disappoint! You have written such a wonderful and absolutely beautiful oneshot. So brava!

The Marauders Era is my favorite and I find all of its characters to be fascinating, but for some reason I tend to just read stories about James, Lily, and Sirius (along with an OC love interests they have). I'm so glad that you chose to write about Emmeline and Benjy; they're characters I've always found interesting and wanted to read about but never did.

I think your characterization of the two of them was wonderful; they were so real to me and it was touching to read all of their moments together and heartbreaking to read the ones that they spent apart. A death is always hard and upsetting to read about, but I find it the most difficult to read about the one that was left behind. I thought that Emmeline's mourning was both realistic and well-written; I really felt her loss through your writing.

I really liked how you went back and forth between the past and the present; it was nice bursts of happiness within the heartache that made it both more devastating and easier at the same time if that makes any sense. Breaking it up was generous to your already broken readers but it was also hard because it gave a glimpse of what was lost.

I also really loved your descriptions and metaphors that were throughout the piece - particularly this:

"His heart beat a steady tattoo against her knuckles."

You have a wonderful way with words and there were plenty of other beautiful quotes throughout but this one stuck out to me in particular. I think it might be because it was in the dance scene which I was in love with (so cute ahhh - same with the part when he kissed the sauce off her face).

This brings me to the quote: I think you used John Green's words beautifully; Benjy's declaration was so sweet and I think you made the quote fit really well with the story. I really loved what you did with it so congrats! You did really well with this challenge! And that makes me so happy! :)

So I hope that it's okay that I just ranted about how wonderful this oneshot is; I've never been the judge of a challenge before so I'm not sure if I was supposed to add any constructive criticism. But I don't have any! I absolutely love this piece and I'm so glad that you entered my challenge!

Thank you so much and great job!!!

10/10

~Jess :D

Author's Response: I think I need to take a minute to reread and fully process this review again because golly, did you say some really really nice things!

First off, thanks for making this challenge! I've had this idea for an Emmeline/Benjy one-shot for some time now, but I didn't know what I wanted to do with it/didn't have the inspiration to get it done, but then your challenge came along and BAM! So really I have you to thank for the existence of this one-shot.

Marauders is my favorite era, too, if you haven't noticed for the astounding amount of Lily/James on my author's page :P As much as I love writing about Lily, James, Sirius, Remus, and Peter, I've always been equally fascinated by the other members of the Order, the ones we don't ever get to know beyond how and when they died. Emmeline has always been a point of interest for me because she was in both incarnations of the Order, something that few people can say. And Benjy - well, he gets blown up, doesn't he? How is that not equal parts interesting and tragic?

I've said it before and I'll probably say it until my dying day, but characterization is always my biggest concerns because it's the characters that really make a story. Like no matter how imaginative a plot is, no matter how beautiful the descriptions are, if you don't have realistic, believable characters that come off the page then what's the point, you know? So yes, thank you for that!

Originally, this was going to be about Emmeline going through the 5 stages of grief, but then I realized that's been done before. So has the format I decided to put it in, but shh we don't mention that :P Anyway, I decided against the 5 stages because that'd be too much angst and I'm not very good at writing angst, so I took my chances and I'm glad it paid off! I loved writing the fluff scenes because they were not only easy, but really cute and yeah, I just love writing fluff, lol.

Oh wow, thank you! I'm not going to lie - it took me a while to figure out how I could incorporate the quote into this piece. I must have typed about five different scenarios where it could have happened and I picked the last one I wrote because, again, it seemed the most realistic, even if it's still a little cheesy. Everyone loves some cheese every now and again!

Are you kidding me? Of course it's okay! You have no idea how happy you've made me with this wonderful review. I'm sitting here with this ridiculous smile on my face, giggling as I type this because you've said such wonderfully kind things to me about my work and - well, it just hits the heart. So thank you. Thank you so much for your review, for reading, for being such a great person, and issuing such an awesome challenge.

♥


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