I genuinely don't have enough words to tell you how sorry I am about the HUGE wait, Jami, so I'm hoping an extra-long review will make up for it, however slightly.
This was gorgeous one-shot, love *squishes* I was terrified for every second I read it, it was so raw and real in all of its glory, and heavens, I wish I could write something like this and yet still have the ability to bawl my eyes out in the end. The fact that I'm a Daddy's Girl made me cry just a little bit harder.
Your description is beautiful, and the fact that everything you described sounded beautiful made me know that if I saw them in real life, I'd be reminded of exactly how ugly the world can be. I wanted to sit with Astoria and Draco out in that crackling storm, even if I knew that the minute I'd let Astoria go, she'd take a beating.
There was a tiny thing I spotted, however, but it's so little you probably should ignore it:
and lightning spit and screamed against the earth. - Do you think it should be 'lightning split' or am I just being picky, trying to pick out a flaw in your otherwise perfect writing?
This was freaking powerful, and don't you dare say otherwise. It seemed like you put in every emotion while writing this, even if it didn't fit with the story, and the fact that I can actually tell you did that just goes to show that this was a stunningly powerful piece. I think the subject - and it was a very sensitive subject, too - was handled very delicately like a proper author. You never actually told us bluntly what was happening, you never crossed the actual line, and that was what made me tear up in the first place because you didn't need to say it to make me cry.
And for the record, I rarely cry when reading stories.
I think it was fitting to burn the house down, although it's a pang to say so because if none of this happened, maybe Astoria could have had a happy life. That last few lines hit the nail on the head, and I swear I could almost see this story playing out in front of my eyes.
It was easy to follow, and I'll leave it at that because while my review was long, it's a bunch of nonsense and probably no use to you whatsoever. This was lovely, Jami, and I'm sorry I had to take so long to review this stunning piece.
Author's Response: Bahh how am I supposed to even respond to this truly amazing review?! You are wonderful ♥ and don't ever feel bad about taking a bit, I'd much rather a well thought out review that takes a while than a hasty any day!!
I am so happy that you got that, beauty in such a dark word kind of feeling. I really wanted to use Astoria to symbolize that this kind of abuse had no barriers. It didn't matter that she was a special, perfect, beautiful child or that she was selfless as can be. She was still the trigger. It didn't mater that Draco wanted to save her or help her sooner, because he more than anyone understand family loyalties.
I really wanted to tell the story without actually telling what happened, so I'm extra happy that you feel like I achieved that ♥
Haha so, I actually originally meant that the lighting split the sky open, then I typed spit and just went with it. I kind of liked the fact that spitting on something is pretty degrading, and having the lighting spit kind of felt right... but I might not be making any sense right now and there's a very good chance I'll end up changing that for the next edit, haha.
The ending was my favorite part to write. I think because the lyrics are talking about there not being enough rain to wash the sins out of the house, but Astoria went around that. So when rain couldn't wash them out, she burnt it down. It felt very freeing to both her and Draco.
Okay, I'm just rambling now because you are such a perceptive reader and it's so awesome to get every single review from you. Thank you so much darling ♥