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Review:Indigo Seas says:
Here for the review exchange!

To be honest, I was almost a little afraid to begin this chapter, because funeral scenes are usually really melodramatic and people are sobbing and throwing themselves on the floor and whatnot. But this, THIS. This was really, really beautiful. I was very pleasantly surprised, though I suppose I should have expected nothing less from an author such as yourself.

I thought the lines about the past/present tense were so powerful. This in particular: "...but she always seemed no, not past tense she always seems to be taking a stand against something." And then you did it again at the end there, and tied it all together. It really brought the chapter full circle, which I loved.

I also really appreciated the fact that when you started, I wasn't sure what was going on. Your first sentence completely drew me in and then the scene slowly, slowly unfolded. It was all very dramatic without being melodramatic, and I didn't get the sense that you were trying too hard or were writing with a specific "LOOK AT THIS" in mind. That is really, really lovely. I cannot even express how happy that makes me, because like I said before, so many funeral scenes are SO overwritten and the people in them are so unbelievable.

Speaking of your characters, I thought that your Molly had an extraordinarily strong narrative. As a reader, I could completely see what she was seeing and feel what she was feeling, and that was marvelous.

And your description! It wasn't purple or really heavy, which is great, but it was still amazingly beautiful without being too weighty. Your attention to detail is marvelous, and I loved the way you included bits about sound (either magnified or far away) and how Molly is hearing things.

Overall, I think this is a really well-constructed first chapter, and I'm excited to read on!

xx Rin

Author's Response: Hey Rin!

I don't even know how to respond to this review. I'm just so pleased and happy that you enjoyed the chapter.

I completely agree with you, it was a bit daunting to write because i didn't want a scene were there was wailing and an outpouring of raw grief. That never seemed particularly real to me either and i wanted to just be able to explore the grief of one person as they mourn the death of a loved one. I'm really pleased that it came off realistically and not overblown. I'm just pleased that it came of naturally.

I'm extremely pleased (how many more times can i say this in this review response!!?) that you didn't feel this was purple-y! Ahh! I've never wanted my writing to turn out that way as the story is more important than the prose. I have a weird tendency though to write a bit floaty descriptions that i fear people will see as being a 'look at me and what i can do' thing. Which is definitely not the goal at all!!

Anyway, thank you so much for your lovely review! I appreciate your kind words so much!! :D
-zayne


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