Report a Review

This service is designed to allow HPFF users to alert the staff about inappropriate reviews.

Review:forsakenphoenix says:
Okay, I'm finally here! I am so, so, so sorry for how long it's taken me to get to your story. No excuses. :(

I have to admit that I've been torn about this story before even reading it. I've heard so many good things about it and the summary obviously intrigued me (I'm a sucker for watching character's lives fall apart). What I wasn't too keen on was the age difference between the main pairing. Just a personal preference; it's nothing against you or your story. I feel like I'm a pretty unbiased reviewer though so I can definitely give you a review that is unaffected by my distaste for huge age gaps between characters.

I think you have a really fascinating prologue. I love when authors use prologues because you suck your reader into reading the rest of the story to find out what happens to lead up to this point. I guess, in a way, that could also be a downfall if your prologue isn't gripping enough - but you don't have to worry about that.

I really like the general vagueness of the chapter as well. While I would have liked a bit more description, I think it worked really well here and it drives me to read on so that I can work out the pieces on my own.

Your dialogue is great between the two men too. You can write interrogation scenes really well, it seems! Viktor's silence throughout the questioning made his outburst at Rose's name really powerful and makes the readers question what exactly happened to him that led to this imprisonment.

I think choosing Viktor was also a great idea. He was idolized as a teenager for being this huge Quidditch star and it's like Quidditch was his life, you know? So to have his career end with an injury, he loses a lot of that notoriety. People will see him as a wash-out and I can see how that would drive him towards drug addiction. He's certainly a character that I haven't read much about but definitely fits the mold of what you're trying to go for, I think.

I think the premise of this story is really fascinating and I think your readers are definitely in for a treat. This should be an interesting exploration of Viktor's shambled life and the subsequent scandal of his relationship with Rose. There are so many questions I want to know about (but especially what happens to Rose) so I feel like that's such a great way to hook readers onto this story. Your writing is really strong in the prologue and I can only see it growing from here. It flows really well. Nothing was jarring or anything of that nature. It read really smoothly.

Thank you for requesting from me and I'm really sorry about the delay in getting you your review.

Author's Response: Thank you for such a thoughtful review, and no worry at all about the delay. Real life comes first! Actually, I feel a little bad myself. I've stopped requesting reviews for this story/putting it up for review exchanges (unless someone has already said they don't mind reading it) since I posted in your thread. The ideas in my head didn't feel offensive, but I've realized since that the pairing really isn't for most. So I really do appreciate you taking a look anyway and I'm glad you were able to find other things to comment on.

I'm (obviously) a big fan of prologues myself. It's almost like getting to cheat a bit as a writer, jumping to the juicy parts of the story before I have to go back and actually set everything up. I'm really glad you thought this provided enough interest to get the reader wondering.

I'm also pleased you liked the choice of Viktor here, even if not in the pairing as a whole. I picked him in large part for the reasons you pointed out -- the whole losing his life's purpose as a trigger for bad choices. Plus, he isn't a character we know everything about so it gives me lots of room to play without necessarily breaking canon.

Thank you for the review. Sorry again that it wasn't something you were really drawn to, but I appreciate the feedback!


Your Name:
Reason for this Report:

Examples:
  • The review is offensive.
  • The review is spam or chit-chat (not actually a review).
  • The review was double posted.
  • The review has formatting problems.
Repeat the number: 653
Submit Report: