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Review:classicblack says:
Hi there it's Ali with your review!

I really like Spencer's sarcasm and wit. It truly demonstrates her fiery personality and a very fun main character. I enjoyed reading the little part where Spencer and James Potter were talking because it was full of sass and sarcams. Nice job!

Speaking of James Potter, he seems like a bit of a prat. But not a James Potter I prat, more like a Percy Weasley prat, you know what I mean? He could dislike Spencer and Scorpius because, being an older sibling, he doesn't like Albus's friends or it could be because he's actually a prat. It doesn't really sit well with me because I feel like Harry wouldn't have raised James to be that kind of person, but I'll have to see where you go with his character. I can't exactly base my opinion on James on about three lines of dialogue, haha.

I think the main thing that you should focus on is explaining things and including details. For example, I would have liked to know how the rocket prank was supposed to work. You mentioned something about the carriage fillling with sherbet something, but I didn't really know what went wrong exactly. In addition, when Spencer went to talk to Rose in the Great Hall how/when did she get there? One minute she was fighting over garlic bread at the Ravenclaw table and the next she was talking to Rose, who had either been joined by Spencer at the Gryffindor table or joined Spencer at the Ravenclaw table. My point is, how did the two girls get next to each other? Unless, of course, they were just shouting the conversation across the Great Hall, which somehow I doubt ;) It doesn't hurt to add more detail and your chapters aren't that long so you can get away with it!

In the future, ensure that you give more detail as to why Spencer was chosen as prefect. As a prankster, she had to have shown some kind of potential and I'd like to know what it is because I haven't seen it in her character yet.

I loved the humor of the garlic bread fight! It was really funny! I also liked how you ended the chapter on a cliffhanger, leaving a reader wondering what kind of devious thing Spencer has come up with this time.

Nice job! Have a great day!
Happy writing,
classicblack from the forums

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