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Review:Gryffin_Duck says:
Hi! Duckie here with your requested review. :)

I really enjoyed the way you began this, with Victoire's thoughts on friendship. It was a good characterization tactic. Going back to the theme of friendship throughout the rest of the story, despite its obvious turn toward romance, was a good choice. It knit the story together, in my opinion.

However, I felt that there needed to be more characterization and more details on Victoire and Teddy's relationship. Teddy obviously betrayed Victoire's trust and friendship, but I feel that specifics would have given an even better insight into their relationship, and their individual characters.

The grammar was good, for the most part. I found a few sentences that needed commas. A good way to find out where you need a comma is to read your story out loud to see where the natural pauses would be. There was also one sentence that seemed awkward and a bit of a run-on. "You see so many 'popular' people who are adored by many and are constantly surrounded by friends who, but when it comes to some sort of bad drama they're out of there like there's a sale on at Gladrags, but you never expect your friends to be like that." I think it would work better if you split it up into two sentences.

The only other issue I had with it was that it was difficult to tell how old Victoire was in this. I knew she was out of Hogwarts because her thoughts on friendship seemed too mature for a teenager, but other than that, I wasn't sure. I also did not realize that she'd actually been married to Teddy until I read the extra information in your review request. I think it would be good to make that a bit more clear. I thought he was her boyfriend.

I really enjoyed the lack of dialogue! As someone who writes too much dialogue, your inner monologue style and description were refreshing! I definitely got the feel that Victoire is a strong woman and her situation with Teddy only made her stronger. Great one-shot! :) Feel free to re-request for another story!

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