Report a Review

This service is designed to allow HPFF users to alert the staff about inappropriate reviews.

Review:AdeleShare says:
Hi, here with your review! Thanks for asking!
I think this is terribly. interesting!!! I haven't read much about the Black family, but I've always been kind of intrugued by the family of dark wizards. I throughly enjoyed your style of writing in this piece, I haven't read much with this kind of narrative. I myself perfer to write in a past tense, third person omnipresent fashion. I liked the present tense of this story. I was worried, because sometimes writers will get mixed up and start mixing two tenses, but you did wonderfully. It kept my attention to the very end. My interest is definatley piqued, and I want to know more. I'm also curious as to when this is taking place. Approx. how old is Sirius here?

I found just a minor thing that might help with the readablility. Now, I'm not trying to beta and I hope I'm not being too picky, but there's a sentence that I thought could use some tweaking:

(Quote:) They all look at him, none daring to question if they would be brought back – Pollux Black is a man who has means of accomplishing everything he sets out to do and his family all know it well – or how they would be brought back. (end quote)

I think it would read better like this:


They all look at him, none daring to question if they would be brought back or how. Pollux Black a man who has means of accomplishing everything he sets out to do and his family all know it well.

Looking forward to reading more of this story, let me know somehow when the next chapter is up, re-request and I'll come read some more :D

~AdeleShare

Your Name:
Reason for this Report:

Examples:
  • The review is offensive.
  • The review is spam or chit-chat (not actually a review).
  • The review was double posted.
  • The review has formatting problems.
Submit Report:  





All stories remain the property of their authors and must not be copied in any form without their consent. This is an unofficial, not for profit site, and is in no way connected with J.K. Rowling, Scholastic Books or Bloomsbury Publishing or Warner Bros. It is not endorsed by any of the aforementioned parties. Rights to characters and their images is neither claimed nor implied. The use of photographs and/or the likeness of any person contained herein does not imply endorsement of any kind. Any depictions were obtained through publically available sources and therefore fall under fair use. Although we may provide links to other websites, we are not responsible for any material at these sites. You acknowledge that you link to these other websites at your own risk. All original administrative content is copyright of the site owner and must not be copied in any form (electronic or otherwise) without the prior consent of the siteowner. ©2000-2012 Fanfictionworld.net

[terms of service] [report abuse] [privacy policy] [site credits]
 
 

navigation

home

search HPFF
read stories
write stories
login/register
get help
site links
forums
podcasts
Terms of Service
Site Rules
contact us

  
 
 

categories & genres

Genre:
- crossover
- drama
- fluff
- general
- horror/dark
- humor
- mystery
- romance
- action/adventure
- angst
- au
- young adult

Popular Pairings:
- harry/ginny
- ron/hermione
- james/lily
- draco/hermione
- more...

Format:
- one-shot
- short story
- novella
- novel
- short story collection
- songfic

  
 
 

quick links

my account
ToS
random story
site rules
help
merchandise


  
 
 

fanfictionworld.net