Hi there :)! So happy to get the chance to pay you back for all your wonderful reviews. On a side note, if my slots are ever full and you need an opinion immediately, you can always PM me the story and the link!
Anyway! I LOVE being thrown into stories. It's easily one of my favorite techniques. It gets things moving and I don't have to read pages of back story which, I'm confident at some point, will come out in better ways than if you were to just start off why she was here what she was doing and all that.
The mood was phenomenal, as wells as your characters thought process. Everyone experiences true terror in different ways, she clearly is trying to avoid her own situation by letting her mind wander, and I really loved that because it kept me more entertained than 2,000 words on how scared she was.
I always imagined there had to be a very serious test to become a death eater, so I liked that this plays into my head canon. My one CC is her killing the man. I feel like we've had it drilled into our brains from lovely Bellatrix and I think at one section Voldy himself that you have to mean the curse. And her whispering an apology makes me really think she wouldn't have meant it enough for it to kill him. Maybe a brief though on why she was there, the smile of her mother and the knowledge that she'd be murdered, just whatever it is that has driven her to this.. can be in the back of her mind to get her that necessary motivation to end this mans life, to mean it enough to cast the curse.
And I'm guessing we are going to be backpedaling in this, right? If so I'm excited, that's another style choice I really enjoy.
I think this first chapter did everything one should and more. I'm intrigued, I'm emotional for this girl who so obviously didn't want to be there, and I want to know what's happening.
I hope this was helpful, thanks for requesting!
Author's Response: bah, Jami, you amazing, you know that right? I actually forgot completely that i requested this from you and was shocked to see a new review for this story! It made my day safe to say :D
I'm so pleased that this wasn't jolting or disorientating because there really is no backstory in the chapter. Or, very little and i'm never a fan when the author just vomits all the info in the first chapter. I'd rather let the info come to me in small bits and pieces. I'm glad that i've done it well enough in the chapter. Also, the way this story is structured, there is going to be a lot of times that things don't exactly make perfect sense because yes, this story is going backwards from this moment on and things won't be lead up to like they are in normal stories. Sometimes, things happen and there is no reason as of yet why they've occurred because it happened in their past.
That leads me to you critique and I do get where you coming from. The idea that you have to mean the curse is something i've thought of and the fact that it worked can only mean one thing. She does mean it even if she's sad that she has to do it. I think that because it works it points to the idea that there is some serious motivation for her to be here because it's clear she doesn't, it clear she's terrified, and even with that we see, in the end that she does have the power to kill someone point blank. I think it's possible for someone to feel sorrow for their actions but can still go and do terrible things and mean what they do because there is little other choice. There were plenty of people in the war who were blackmailed into joining the cause or if you think of RL in WWII were some Germans or SSers didn't believe in the cause but were forced to do horrible things. That didn't stop them from committing terrible acts on humanity. If it means life or death i think it could. I personally like that we don't know the exact reasons why she means it but as a reader i can understand how that may be annoying so i think i'll try to make a but more explicit that she's here trying to save her family or make it clearer that she does mean it. (that will become 100% clearer however in the next chapter :D)
Thank you so much for reviewing this piece Jami, you are the best :D