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Review:Jchrissy says:
Hi darling! Finally here for your review!

So, first of all.. I don't do cliches. Not in the way that I won't read a story if it's cliche, I mean I just don't believe in the anti cliche thing that some people seem so set on. We are all different writers and if something is used often, that means it's because it's good. Sure, it can get boring and monotonous, but a good writer can turn the most annoying cliche to the best story. Your writing is clearly very polished and you do an awesome job at giving me characters to relate to, so I really don't think you should worry/dread revolving into cliche land.

I am happy this is a Lucy story! I like reading about Rose quite a lot, but I've never read much of Lucy so I think it will be really interesting to be able to read a character that you basically created (which out having any canon personality to go off of).

With the flashbacks. Some people won't like them just because some people don't enjoy when the story is interrupted. I love them, I think it was a great breather to stop away and get a different picture, get an idea of what things were like. Will everyone like them? No. But it won't be because they are poorly written, just differences in taste. They transitioned in and out beautifully and it was clear what was happening. No confusion on my part!

I really can't wait to get to know more about the families. How do the Malfoys handle their son? Do they care that he's gay/journalist/best friends with a Weasley? How does Lucy do with being so far away from her family, emotionally and physically? I just think you've opened up a lot of great ideas here and can't wait to see where it heads to! I couldn't image writing a story on the wedding of the love of my life... when he's getting married to someone that's NOT me! Poor girl!

My only bit of CC, and this isn't even really that. I love long chapters, I enjoyed this one immensely. But for a first chapter, over 6,000 words may be a bit much for some people. Again, it didn't bother me and I loved it, so unless you've had people complain, I wouldn't worry about it. If you are concerned about that, my suggestion would be to not include the memory in this, and have it at the start of the next chapter and weave it into there. But, do I think this chapter is too long and did I become uninterested? Absolutely not.

I think this is a wonderful start and I'm excited to see where it goes!

Please feel free to request again! I know there isn't much in terms of characterization in this review, but as I continue to read and get a better handle on them, I'll be able to comment more on that :)!

Thanks for requesting!!

Jami

Author's Response: Hi there!

Aw I'm so happy you liked this! I really like your philosophy, actually. It makes sense. I think the reason I sometimes shy away from clichés in stories is because I've had some bad experiences with stories written badly that cling to clichés and nothing else. You've reassured me in writing this story and for that I'm grateful.

I'm so pleased you caught onto all the details of Scorpius and Lucy! They're both quite flawed and broken, which will be explained further when delving further into the story.

And I know about the length. It's one of my great weaknesses (and strengths?). I can't write short chapters so it's quite a challenge. I've been really worried about it, but at the same time I don't know how to cut it short. I suppose that I could cut one of the flashbacks out... Hm. I'll have to think about it. I definitely agree that it's on the long side.

This review was really great, thank you so much for all those encouraging words. This helped heaps! Thank you so much.


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