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Review:AdeleShare says:
Uuggh! I was almost done writing my reveiw and something happened and it all disappeared! I hope I remember what I wrote.

Hi, AdeleShare here with your review!

I thought this was a great story, I liked it for these reasons:
-I love stories about obscure characters (Dorcas was mentioned in HP, right? Or am I confused)
-Plus, the style of telling the story was neat. I liked the sort of 'fading' in and out of the moments touched on in the story.

I liked the character of Dorcas in the most part, except the description of her being grumpy all the time left alot to desire. Is there a reason behind this crabbiness? Is it just to her fellow Aurors in training? Did something happen to cause this? Hopefully this is broadened in further chapters.

Also, I loved Amber. She's just a lil cutie and I think I'd die if anything happened to her :(

Two teesy things I noticed. I'm not trying to nit-pick, but I'd want to know if it were my story:

(Quote) " “Of course I came you silly little ladybug, why are you so surprised? Dorcas asked, walking into the room still holding Amber, " (end Quote)

Missed a ' " ' after the question mark.

(Quote)" “Mummy is silly.” Dorcas said, taking the less is more approach. She would have to speak to her mother later about that later. " (end Quote)

I think you have an extra ' later ' in that sentence.

So, all in all I really enjoyed reading this! Feel free to re-request for further chapters!


Author's Response: Oh no! I hate it when that happens.

Dorcas is indeed mentioned in HP. You aren't confused. I wanted someone who I could have a lot of leniency with while also staying canon. And I'm glad you liked the style. I usually only write one shots so those short scenes kind of just come more naturally.

Dorcas is rather grumpy, yes. And while she's not like that all the time, she is most of the time. As the story continues, you get to see more of her emotions, though admittedly, she will never be a cheerful outgoing person. Her grumpiness comes from a hard life and introversion, though she can't completely escape the people in her life.

I love Amber too :) She's absolutely adorable. I think Dorcas wins for loving her the most though. She throws everything about herself into that little girl, and her whole world revolves around her.

Thanks for pointing out the mistakes! I knew there were some in there, but I always have the hardest time finding them when I look, so when I edit I will have to use this as a reference to find them!

Thanks for your review!


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