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Review:Calypso says:
Hello, this is Calypso from the forums here with your requested review!

I loved your beginning to this. Starting with the Portkey journey is a really clever idea, as it got the story going right away.

You have a real talent for description and that was great all the way through this piece. I particularly enjoyed your description of late-night Paris. It was very romantic and atmospheric. I loved the description of the city lights "like a million fireflies scattering the ground", and of the sound of the guitars along the river.

The role of her parents seems interesting- I quite want to see how that will unfold! In the first paragraph they'rer written as bickering, but they seem rather united in their desire to (as you put it) to "force her to love."

There was quite a contrast between the vivid excitement of the city and the cold, snobbiness of the hotel- you conveyed that very well. You described the snake-like receptionist well too, but I wasn't sure about her speech... It seemed a little informal and I couldn't really imagine the receptionist in a posh hotel saying they had the tastiest food in the country, but maybe that's just me.
There were also a couple of places where I felt the decription was a little tooo much. Some of the depictions of the hotel and of her green dress seemed a little superfluous.

And her first sighting of Arthur! I liked the transition to this- from her standing on the balcony feeling cold and alone, to the sudden awakening from her nightmare. It was well structured.
I thought that you wrote that bit well too with the slightly comedic image of the boy emerging bit by bit from the bushes. Looking forward to finding out what he was doing there, and to meeting him properly!

Thank you for requesting this- Molly and Arthur are such an awesome pairing and really underloved. If you'd like to re-request for later chapters, I would be more than happy to review them! This is a really lovely start.

- Bethany

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