OMG, I've never seen someone actually use supercilious in a sentence before, extra points for that. Nice work on the timing too, Dumbledore as Transfiguration professor. A such an interesting professor he is so far. I am liking this.
I know they are tormenting her, but I love Tiberius and Druella. I'm not sure why but I find them fascinating, i suppose we all know someone like them at one point in our lives. Certainly an interesting peak into how Dolores became Umbridge so far.
I love her twisted sense of right and wrong. She is deeply manipulative as you can see with her twisting Fudge to her idea in such a sneaky way. And her hatred for children is so ingrained. I am curious to whether it was home or school life that caused such feelings in her. This is so very good. And I'm curious whether she has some unresolved hatred towards Dumbledore himself from her school years, and if that is somehow affecting her nature in the here and now too.
Argh I can't keep him down, PickyFeenix notices that you said "the children at staff at dinner in the Great Hall" instead of 'the children and staff'. Sorry I'll try to keep him in check. The poor house elves. how had Dumbledore let their mistreatment go unchecked?
I am loving how neatly you have seperated the time changes. Nothing worse than reading through a story that isn't properly marked out like that, you go from one paragraph to the next (if you're lucky and they haven't done it mid paragraph) and are immediately confused by the time change. Not here, expertly layed out.
Man Dumbledore can be such a cool character. Concerned for every student in the school even when nothing more than a teacher. I hope Slughorn gives them such a talking to. Though that may not have quite the desired effect. I'm pretty sure being scolded by a walrus wouldn't be quite so scary as it would from Dumbledore (I hate the Slughorn didn't have his mustache in the movies).
Ah, and that is where her penchant for physical reminders of transgrestions comes from. What a delightful mother she has. No wonder Dumbledore is furious. Not only is she being hurt at school, she suffers at home as well. It's small wonder she became what she did.
Wow, finally at the end, nice and long entry as well (always a plus in my book, I hate chapters that I can read without ever scrolling the window down, pet peeve). And so very well written. You really got into her head and went to town, you have certainly met the requirements of my challenge. And I love the bullying parts too (not in a condoning way) they were so good. Truly showing what it can be like for some children in school. It is a reality far too many still have to deal with every day.
You have not converted me on Umbridge (she is my second most hated character) but as with yourself, it makes you feel for her in a way the books never allowed. She is a horrible woman, but this goes to show that it can be many different little things that add up to forge such a person later in life. If this is anything to go by I can't wait to see the other entries, though you have certainly put quite a bar in place for the other entries. I realy enjoyed this fic from start to finish.
Author's Response: Supercilious is a great word, isn't it? Very expressive, I think. I quite like Dumbledore as a teacher too! I think his classes would be so interesting.
I'm glad that despite their actions, you enjoy Druella and Tiberius. It's oddly fun to write nasty people, don't you think? And yeah, I think we've all come across people like them at some point.
I love that you picked up on this before I even got to it! "And I'm curious whether she has some unresolved hatred towards Dumbledore himself from her school years, and if that is somehow affecting her nature in the here and now too." Well done you :P
I love PickyFeenix! I need PickyFeenix! Thanks for pointing that out, I edited it, hopefully that'll be up soon. As for the House Elves, I think Dumbledore just can't have known- after all, elves don't exactly tell tales, and Umbridge is a sneaky woman. I'm sure that if he had known, he'd have been utterly furious.
The layout! I'm a stickler for stories I can read and that have a discernible flow. So thanks for commenting on that!
I just love Dumbledore so much. Even with all his flaws we see in the later books, he cares deeply about people, and especially children. I totally agree with you about Slughorn! Haha! I actually imagined Richard Griffiths playing him, despite him already being Uncle Vernon. But then again, I imagine Uncle Vernon as looking a lot like Danny DeVito in 'Matilda', so I'm in a muddle already when it comes to the films!
"You really got into her head and went to town" is such a cool turn of phrase! Thanks :D
I really enjoyed this challenge, as it really *was* a challenge. So thanks for setting it! It made me write something I wouldn't normally think of writing. And I'm so happy that you really enjoyed this... I'm looking forward to reading the other entries too.
Athene G xoxo