Hey Amanda, it's Molly from the forums with your requested review!
Wow - that's really the only way I can start off this review. Just...wow. I was so blown away by this that I had to take a few minutes to myself after reading it in order to collect my thoughts and put them in a semi-comprehensible line up. So hopefully this review is somewhat understandable and if it's not, I apologize.
I absolutely love this dark spin you've put on Rose's character. She's usually portrayed as a knock off of Hermione or a bizarre mix of Ron and Hermione that doesn't always work, and even when she's not written as either of those types, she's still an overall pleasant person. But that's not the case with this and I love it. I love her obsession with Scorpius, which starts out as a seemingly simple thing - at first, I thought perhaps she just had a crush on him that she never quite got over, but then it evolved into this deeper, darker, and far more disturbing things. The notes she took at first were cute, but the later ones were actually quite disturbing to me as were her jealous thoughts later on.
It's odd, because a part of me thinks that yes, maybe she does love Scorpius, but mostly I just get the feeling that it's an obsession so deep that she can't quite shake it, despite knowing fully well what kind of person he is - someone who casually throws around the word 'Mudblood', a habit I'm sure he picked up from his father, without understanding the weight and emotional impact of the word.
I enjoyed Lily's characterization as well - she came off as naive without being overly innocent. She's clearly adored by everyone who knows her, and I found it very interesting indeed that even though Rose is so jealous of her and her relationship with Scorpius that Rose wants to protect her from him. And I don't think it's just because she wants Scorpius all to herself, but because she loves Lily very much despite it all.
And the descriptions - oh the descriptions! Be still my heart! I was captivated by them from the very beginning when you were describing the flush on Lily's cheeks. There were some really beautiful descriptions that contributed to the characters' nuances that I found truly wonderful; they told us so much about the characters.
For such a short piece, it packed a lot of punch.
You've done a truly wonderful and beautiful job with this piece. You should be very very proud indeed. I, for one, am extremely envious of your abilities. They're breathtaking!
Author's Response: Hi Molly! I am so sorry that this response took ages. RL totally took over for a few weeks!
I have this thing about taking canon characterization and toying with it to produce different variations on a character, most of which turn out a bit dark. I wanted to think about how far things could go with the right amount of pressure and the right sort of obsessive personality. Thankfully, Rose keeps her emotions mostly contained, but I think she could do some serious damage otherwise. It's so great that you liked what I did with her!
I think both Lily and Rose are victims of Scorpius and his inherent prejudice, and yet I don't think he really intends to do them harm. It's just a bad situation all around. I think that makes it even harder for Rose to deal with, and as you mentioned, she still wants to take care of fragile little Lily and keep her safe. It must be an uncomfortable position for her.
It's so lovely that you liked the descriptions. I try to weave them in there, and lately I've been working on making them flow more naturally and not seem shoe-horned into my pieces. I'm happy that the piece "packed a punch," as you said, and was enjoyable for you.
Thank you for this truly lovely review :)