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Review:Lady Asphodel says:
Okay... chapter 3...

The only thing I can say is recap of what I said in my last two reviews.

Bring more depth to the story. The story is too simple. Bring emotions into your stories and I'm pretty sure you'll be able to bring emotion out of a reader.

Work on the grammar and punctuals. Don't worry, I still struggle with that myself (and I'm an American - shame on me.)

Try reading stories that has plot, depth, emotion, and great grammar. You can learn a lot from them.

Personally, I'm not a fan of the next generation. Never was and never will be.

But I came here to read to return the favor.
I really appreciate you taking the time to read my story and reviewing.

Keep on writing!


Author's Response: ı know i need some grammer lessons, sorry :/ I'm absuletly going to improve it :) I love next generation cause i feel like it didnt :) Thank you so much for reading i really love you :)

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