Hello, dear! I'm really enjoying this story, now that I've started to get into it. As you weave in more and more of the canon characters, I'm finding it easier and easier to connect with your original characters, if that makes sense? Something about putting them into context, I guess. At any rate, everything felt much easier to process in this chapter, like I was really immersed in what was going on.
So there was one thing right near the beginning that I found a little odd. It's so small I almost feel bad mentioning it, but it's really the only constructive criticism I could come up with, so here goes. If Sera is a Hufflepuff, it seems strange that she wouldn't be able to find her way to the kitchens. Their common room is supposed to be very close to them. It's a minor thing, but really, the only thing that comes to mind as far as a suggestion.
Poor Sera. It's sad to see her digging through the same, old library books that she's already read, trying to find some insight on her mother's condition. But it also helped to continue developing her character and also revealed a bit of new information about her mother. It seems like her illness is more than simple dementia? And Sera is such a dedicated daughter, spending her free time looking for that one bit of insight that leads to a cure.
And we have an interesting little interaction with Remus. Granted, he's generally friendly, but there certainly felt like a tiny flash of chemistry here. More on that later...
Sera's friends are just girly to the max, aren't they? Sitting at Quidditch try-outs, ogling Sirius without his shirt on? Ha, I love the mental image. And I love Dorcas's dissection of James's strategy. Makes perfect sense. I'm not sure what to say about Sera continuing to do the dirty work for Helen and Catie. I'm way out of my depth in this sort of high school girl crush management. But it certainly feels believable to me.
Even aside from discovering that James is up to something -- when isn't he up to something, really? -- I thought that Remus and Sera's prefect rounds were the most interesting part of the chapter. For Sera's part, it almost seems like she wants to open up to Remus about her mother, but she's either scared to let him in or she doesn't quite know how. And you let another juicy little detail slip. So her mother isn't just suffering from dementia at all, there was some sort of magical injury involved. Ooh, I can't wait to find out what!
Remus's reaction to her seemingly innocent question was pretty easy to understand, based on his secret that we're already well aware of. But it still seemed a bit, I don't know, abrupt. Maybe you've concocted some other secrets for him, as well.
OK, I am rapidly starting to reassess which Marauder I think you're going to hook Sera up with. Sirius is old and busted. Remus is the new hotness. Now don't go throwing Peter into the mix, because you will really confuse me! ;)
Well done, as always!
Author's Response: Yey, I'm glad you're liking my story ^^ and like I said, I do know what you mean. It always takes some time for me too to really get into a story and see how much I like it (:
Hmm, well, I guess that's just a personal preference. I don't think that many students knew the whereabouts of the kitchens. I can't remember seeing anyone else there during the books other than the trio. Fred and George obviously knew about it since they were the ones who told Hermione and I'm thinking they knew it because of the Marauders map. So that's the reason why Sera doesn't know about it. Make sense?
Yeah. You'll find more about her mother's sickness in the future chapters. I'm hoping that the dedication fits well on her character, since she is a Hufflepuff.
Yeah, they are d: and I'm glad you think it's believable because it's been so long since I've been involved with school girl drama like that. But I guess I still have more experience about it than you d:
Glad you liked the Prefect rounds! It was fun to write, even though I was a bit nervous about Remus's character. Hopefully I did a good job with him (:
About Sera. She's quite open about her mother and the state she is in to all her friends, and she doesn't have any problems about that. It's more like, she knows how people usually react to it and she doesn't want them pitying her. But she doesn't want to lie about it, so she'll tell if somebody asks her about it.
And yes, it's a magical injury. But more about that later d:
We'll see, we'll see. Hopefully it'll all make sense once the story develops (:
Haha, actually there will be some Peter in the next chapter d: let's see what you think then ^^
Thank you, dear, once again for such an awesome review!