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Review:Elphaba and Boyfriends says:
Hi, Elphaba here with your requested review! So far I like this story a lot. :)

Your take on Remus is very interesting, especially the way that you present humanity as a choice that he makes each month when he transforms:

"I could remember everything if I wanted to, but that would mean accepting the werewolf in me, to become one with him, and lose my humanity altogether."

That's not something that I had considered before, so I found your interpretation of his transformation to be very thought-provoking. I think it's also definitely in-character. This section just before the POV change is gut-wrenching:

"I felt pathetic. 'I am a human and I'm in charge here. Not you!' My monster barked inside my head as if he was laughing at me."

I did notice a couple of minor grammatical things. The first is the first sentence in the second paragraph, "upon the sun began to set" -- I think it should be "as the sun began to set."

The other is a run-on sentence during the Wolf's POV: "It seemed that he was the only one offering him a challenge for it never averted its gaze from Wolf who knew that only those who dared to look at him were literally challenging his ownership of the territory." I would break it after "Wolf," just because that's where I would naturally pause for breath while reading it aloud.

I like your depiction of the interaction between Remus and his friends in animal form, their actions seem to be very much in-character as well. I laughed when the Wolf found that Stag-James smelled "delicious and wrong." :)

Finally, I like how this chapter ends. It seems realistic that their first outing together as animagi wouldn't go so well. Remus also mentioned that there were close calls during PoA, so he could have been referring to this incident. :)

I enjoyed this chapter and am looking forward to reading more!

Author's Response: Heya! I'm glad that you enjoyed the chapter!! :D

The books I was reading and which I based the idea of this story to, the main character, Kitty, is always going on about how she wants to see herself as human despite her 'disease'. She always goes on about talking things through like normal humans rather than fight it out like animals. Remus always struck me as a person who was reluctant to believe he was a werewolf but also someone who didn't see himself as a normal human being. He's afraid.

I went ahead and fixed the typos and run-on sentences! This is why I request make my story as grammatical perfect as possible. XD

Wolf is confused in this chapter. He recognizes the scents but then again, he's hungry and James is one large hunk of meat. XD I'm glad that you liked the description honestly.writing from an animal's pov is hard considering that there's almost little to no dialogue.

Remus has a lot of close calls...but you'll see that soon! :D

Thank you so much for the review! :D


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