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Review:Alopex says:
Before I get into proper reviewing, I want to note a couple of grammar/spelling issues. I did notice a couple comma splices in this story. For example, this sentence: "They'd go to their meadow, sometimes she'd even leave through the window if she was too frightened to walk to the front door." You also had a typo in spelling "Apparate" and also I think once you meant "colleagues" instead of "colleges."

You asked about whether Draco's and Astoria's reactions seem realistic. I will address Astoria first. I did find her behavior to be realistic. I'm no psychological expert, but I did find her realistic. The making excuses for her father, the feeling sometimes of deserving it even though her head knows better, and basically hoping that things will change or get better seems realistic.

I also found it fitting that when she was faced with making a quick decision, that she ultimately chose to escape herself rather than to help her father escape--something he deservedly brought on himself. By that point, she was an adult and also had spent several years of "normal" time at Hogwarts, so it seemed like an appropriate time for her to make that step. Burning down the house was rather impulsive, and for a Muggle I might question it (authorities would obviously be swarming around at that point, giving a Muggle no opportunity to set a fire in the first place, most likely), but certainly it is a cleansing and symbolic move.

Draco didn't feel as realistic to me. I guess a lot can be explained with the ol' "he's been in love with her since they were kids" line, but I didn't feel him as strongly as I did Astoria. Then again, I suppose I can buy him channeling his anger, helplessness, and desire for revenge into something like this.

I think one thing that does bother me a little was that if Draco had been so concerned for so many years and even tried to talk to Daphne about it, why did he never bother voicing his concerns to anyone else? True, he had his own problems going on during his teens, but I felt like for him to be exhibiting that level of concern at the age of 12, he might possibly have let something slip to someone rather than waiting eight or nine years to act.

As you said, I did feel sad for Astoria, despite the more hopeful ending. Her journey is really just beginning . . . or at least, the next stage of her life is beginning, but leaving behind the past won't be so easy.

Author's Response: Thank you so much for stopping by!! So, I've thought a lot about Draco and I think I need to bring out more of the darker things that played in my head with him. In my head, there was very little involvement with Mr. Greengrass and Voldemort. Draco's entire purpose for becoming an Auror was to find enough evidence (or make up) to have him arrested. Now that I read through it, there is no indication of that, and I think that was an important part of realizing that Draco's still not the *best* person.

Your review got me thinking how I can work with Draco, without him saying anything. So now I'm thinking about adding in something to play on family loyalties. If anyone would understand the loyalties it should be the Malfoys, so maybe I can play on that? That may also make Draco feel more in character, okay I'm like thinking out loud to you. BUT that means that your review really got me thinking which is the best thing I can ask for from a review!!!

Thank you so much for your help! And for stopping by, and I'm so happy that ultimately you did feel bad for Astoria because that's what I wanted the most. I am so excited to get the opportunity to request from you again, your a really perceptive and wonderful reviewer! Thank you!!!

Jami


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