"He couldn't get through any family gathering without someone mentioning the other Fred, his uncle. The real Fred."
This line. It just made me so sad, because I hate to see Fred thinking that way. That he's not the "real" Fred. And yet, it makes perfect sense for him to feel that way, like his only purpose in the Weasley family was to replace his uncle. Except thata he doesn't live up to everyone's expectations. That's got to be so, so hard. And you conveyed all that with just one line. That's why I love your stories so much.
Ahem. Please excuse my rambling, B, but I'm just so excited to be reviewing another story in this series! And I had to geek out over that part, because it just really struck me :) Now, on to the rest:
The little things you've told us about George really upset me, because I just want him to accept his son for who he is, and not try to make him different. I just feel like that's what a parent should do. But then again, not all families are perfect, and I really like the dysfunctional picture you've painted of the Weasleys. Not that they're completely unhealty, but they're just normal. Every family has drama. Every family has a black sheep or two. I think you do an awesome job of showing the Weasley's in their good and bad moments :)
One little style critique: In the paragraph that begins, "He made his way up the bus, nodded to the driver, etc." you use the word 'cafe' an awful lot. I might vary that wording to make it seem a little less choppy.
When I first read through this, I wondered why Fred's love interest wasn't fleshed out as much as some of the others. We don't really get to meet her beyone a passing glance, and even Fred doesn't know much about her. But then I read it again, and I realized how perfect it was for Fred's story. For him, Anna represents hope for the future, and maybe a way for him to come to terms with his past. That idea is what's most important, not necessarily Anna herself (though she seems completely adorable, and I think she'd probably be good for Fred.) I just really love the way you worked with that, and gave Fred something (someone?) to look forward to.
I really liked this one! And I'd love to see more about Fred; he seems like he'd have a very interesting story to tell :) Great job!
Author's Response: Hi Maggie!
Sorry, I've been away again but I'll try to finish "Molly" this weekend! Since you've been following my stories- or continued to over that break - I'm really sorry my first update was such a weak chapter.
Thank you so much for such a thoughtful review! I know I was a little hard on George here, I don't think he would have been that bad, and a lot of what Fred II says and thinks is self inflicted, but I really avoid thinking about George too much because I know he won't be ok and it makes me too sad.
I'd like to think Fred works it out though, in the prologue he's happy enough :)
Yeah, I get what you mean there. I wanted her to be a potential love interest as opposed to "new girlfriend" but I think I did this at the cost of getting to know Anna. When I decided Fred would end up with a Muggle girl I was really eager to get into that, but it didn't happen. Maybe another time I'll get back to it!
And I'll be sure to change that "cafe" thing when editing, that is a bit strange!